Biden – ‘A Vote For Me is a Vote For an Occasional Slow News Day’
DOVER – The Biden campaign has taken a new approach in the presidential campaign. Citing news overload in recent years, he has promised a few days of slow news. “By our records, the last slow news day in the US was March 23, 2015. Between Covid, B…
Read full storyBiden Coughs Up Hairball On “The View”, Whoopi Goldberg Loses Lunch
BILLINGSGATE POST: It had to happen to Joe Biden sooner or later. No matter how fastidious he might be, if you have a penchant for sniffing hair, someday an alarming and somewhat disgusting thing will happen to you. After coming out of his baseme…
Read full storyMan Isn't Going To Fall For That Old Chestnut
A man has spoken out assertively, and said that he might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even so, he's not going to fall for that old chestnut! Myke Woodson, of Oaf-on-Sea, East Yorkshire, said that he is not as daft as he looks, and…
Read full storyEurope recovering from worst of coronavirus
Statistics show that Europe have been among the worst-hit by coronavirus throughout the world, yet their response was positive and they appear to be recovering well. I spoke to singer Joey Tempest about the pandemic. "When drummer Tony Reno was ho…
Read full storyBritannia time portal ruled out
A study at McFly University in Sydney, Australia has concluded that time travel is not a factor in many British people's antiquated attitudes. Professor Bruce Jefferson explained, "Many Brits seem to have a worldview that is stuck in the late Vic…
Read full storyGiancarlo Granda, Alias “The Falwell Pool Boy” Finally Speaks Out
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - After staying quiet for several days, the nation’s most famous former pool cleaner is speaking out. Giancarlo Granda told TMZ that Jerry and Becki Falwell, who claim to be devoted evangelicals, are about as religio…
Read full storyPresident Trump Shocks the Nation by Dropping Mike Pence From the Ticket and Replacing Him with Ivanka
MANCHESTER, New Hampshire - (Satire News) – The President was in Manchester holding a campaign pep rally before a crowd of 220 supporters, all unmasked, and not a one adhering to the self-distancing policy. They crowd of MAGAians cheered everythin…
Read full storyChina Invents a Television Antenna You Can Wear on Your Head
HONG KONG – (Satire News) - The Republic of China is fast becoming the Japan of the electronics business world. Electronics experts in Hong Kong have just invented a television antenna that can be worn on one’s head. The antenna only weighs 13…
Read full storyCaptions To Be Used For Donald Trump’s Future Speeches
The networks have decided, to avoid any misunderstandings during a future speech given by Donald Trump (that could perhaps accidentally ignite World War III), to introduce the addition of captions at the bottom of the screen. Just above the crawl.
Read full storyBiden To Have Head Hermetically Sealed In Bubble
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a last-minute face-saving development, the handlers of Joe Biden demanded that Biden’s head be put into a hermetically-sealed bubble during the three scheduled debates. To preclude brain fermentation during the debate, Bid…
Read full storyWoman Wiped Bogey On Bus Seat
There was an outbreak of hilarity tinged, however, with a certain amount of disgust, when a man in a pub revealed to his mates how he'd observed a woman on a bus pick a big, long, green bogey from her nose, and then wipe her finger on the seat. My…
Read full storyJoe Pasquale Makes Wedding Speech About Immigration
Joe Pasquale, the Cockney Joe Pesci, who stunned listeners with his forthright views on Brexit recently, has done it again, this time on the extremely sensitive topic of immigration. In front of a large gathering of guests at a wedding party he ha…
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