Biden To Have Head Hermetically Sealed In Bubble

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 30 August 2020

image for Biden To Have Head Hermetically Sealed In Bubble

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a last-minute face-saving development, the handlers of Joe Biden demanded that Biden’s head be put into a hermetically-sealed bubble during the three scheduled debates.

To preclude brain fermentation during the debate, Biden advisors are demanding that the bubble not only be hermetically sealed, they are also asking that the temperature within the bubble be lowered to minus 20 degrees Fahrenheit, so that Biden does not sweat so profusely.

Smelling a rat (genera Rattus), Trump advisors countered with a proposal that would lower the temperature to minus 120 degrees, hoping to freeze dry Biden’s brain to preclude him from flip-flopping on his positions during the debate. Research has shown that the Splendid Splinter, Ted Williams, has not changed his views on any position since his brain was cryogenically frozen at that temperature back a few years ago.

As is its policy, THE BILLINGSGATE POST will stand behind this story with no caveats other than advising readers that providing journalism unabridged, uncensored and most importantly, without proof, is a thankless mission.

Slim: “It’s inevitable that Doctor Billingsgate will receive an award for this story.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Perhaps. But not in this world.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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