NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - After staying quiet for several days, the nation’s most famous former pool cleaner is speaking out.
Giancarlo Granda told TMZ that Jerry and Becki Falwell, who claim to be devoted evangelicals, are about as religious as the Chupacabra is cute.
Granda said he first met the Falwells when they hired him to clean their swimming pool.
He said that the pool cleaning led to lawn moving, which led to tree trimming, which eventually led to Becki boinking.
Carlo said that Jerry always watched in the corner. At first he was quiet, but then he became a cheerleader yelling out "Go, Carlo, go, give it to the ho!"
TMZ reported that, after 857 sexual romps lasting 9 years, it finally ended after Carlo met and fell in love with a hot, sexy 22-year-old Hooters girl.
Once word got out about the evangelical cuckoldry, Liberty University quickly terminated Jerry as president.
Becki has since been asked to turn in her “Religious Women For Trump” button.