Limericks That Link The Unabomber And Monica Lewinsky Together
BILLINGSGATE POST: As inexplicable as fate is, two totally unrelated people were tied together by their unusual names. Ted Kaczynski gained his notoriety as the Unabomber a number of years ago. As you probably remember, Monica Lewinsky was the intern...
Read full storyMan With Hairy Back, Palms And Feet Does NOT Have Coronavirus After Coughing All Night
Scott Needham, an unemployable layabout from Blackpool, who still lives with his mum, despite being nearly 30 years old, was filled with relief on Thursday, after doctors gave him the all-clear from the coronavirus, after he coughed non-stop for thre...
Read full storyNon-Hipster now has a hipster beard
Non-hipster, Barry Gillespie, a 46-year-old senior accountant from Mithering on the Trent, has grown a hipster beard, even though he never wanted one. The hirsute former bank worker, is currently missing the Stray Ferret domino's team, but feels h...
Read full storyGame of Swingball becoming increasingly violent
What started out as a friendly game of Swingball has turned increasingly violent, as Thomas Johnson and his dad, Gary, discuss the finer points of gamesmanship. 'It was all going so well,' said Thomas, 'but Dad got into a bit of a strop when he hi...
Read full storyFamily saving box set of Last of the Summer Wine
Mother and father, Gary and Lorraine Johnson, are saving their family box set of Last of the Summer Wine for either, when son, Thomas, 14, is able to enjoy it for the comedy classic that it is, or the family get so bored during Lockdown, that it is u...
Read full storyHaggis ignore social-distancing
Coppers have arrested a gaggle of raucous haggis who decided to turn deaf ear to new social-distancing regulations by having a tear-up on Glen Tilt. Authorities arrived at scenes of utter degradation just after one o’clock this morning, after bein...
Read full storyStudy Shows Most Americans Prefer Indefinite Isolation to Giving Up Bacon
Amidst the panic of coronavirus, the origins of which can be traced to a species of bat commonly eaten in China, a new study from the Make America Meat Again think tank in Raleigh, North Carolina, shows that most Americans prefer the prospect of inde...
Read full storyConker Season Can't Come Soon Enough For Hull Man
It may only be April, but one man in East Yorkshire is already looking forward to the autumn and all it brings, and has been busy preparing for, what he claims is, the most exciting time of the year - Conker Season! Conkers, the 19th century's ans...
Read full storyAn Elderly Couple In Colorado Ignores The Shelter-in-Place Directive and Sneaks Out Dressed as Douglas Firs
STEAMBOAT SPRINGS, Colorado - Many of the states have imposed a self-isolation policy as well as a shelter-in-place policy. And for the most part the vast majority of the people are adhering to these national and state directives except for a stub...
Read full storyA Powerful Earthquake Hits Idaho – Reports Say That There Are Tons and Tons of Mashed Potatoes All Over The Place
BOISE, Idaho – A 6.5 magnitude earthquake struck just northeast of Boise and it was felt as far off as Missoula, Montana a distance of 365.4 miles. A potato farmer Dalton Friggity said that he and his wife (Lorelei) were watching reruns of The Hou...
Read full storyTom Brady Says He Will Compensate Buccaneers Receiver Chris Goodwin for Giving Up His #12 Jersey
TAMPA BAY – The sports world had been wondering if the new Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady, was going to end up having to get a new number, since #12 was already taken by wide receiver Chris Goodwin. There were rumors floating around Fl...
Read full storyA Brooklyn Liquor Store Had a Line Outside With People Waiting To Rob It
NEW YORK CITY – The New York World Register is reporting that most liquor stores in the five New York boroughs are doing booming business. Cortez Bellisario, who owns The Spirits of Brooklyn Liquor Store, said that his high sales volume indicates...
Read full story'Fatal' Microbes 15 Minutes Of Fame Has Finally Arrived
Forty-one years is a long time to wait for a breakthrough, but that's exactly how long one English punk band had been waiting patiently for their 15 minutes of fame, until the deadly Coronavirus handed them their 'moment', and thrust them into the sp...
Read full storyMan Was Tripped Up On Legging-Up Day
A man who was glad to get through the potentially prank-filled morning of Wednesday 1April without a single April Fools Day prank being played on him, soon fell for the oldest trick in the book just after midday, when he was tripped-up near his home...
Read full storyHull Man Thinking of Just Starting Over Again In Grimsby
After this week's freezing weather and rain began to get to him, Hull resident, Scott Galloway, confirmed, on Thursday, that he is seriously considering packing it all up, and moving somewhere different, like Grimsby. “I hate the winters here, th...
Read full storyTrump Declares War on Coronavirus? No, On Venezuela!
April 1, 2020. The White House, Washington, D.C. - Exclusive to The Spoof. At an update on the fight against "the invisible enemy", President Donald Trump brought forth a flock of his top aides to announce a war on drugs in Latin America, aimed spec...
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