A Brooklyn Liquor Store Had a Line Outside With People Waiting To Rob It

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 2 April 2020

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Brooklyn's largest liquor store, The Spirits of Brooklyn is very, very well protected.

NEW YORK CITY – The New York World Register is reporting that most liquor stores in the five New York boroughs are doing booming business.

Cortez Bellisario, who owns The Spirits of Brooklyn Liquor Store, said that his high sales volume indicates that there are a lot of shelter-in-place folks who are either drinking a lot more, or who have taken up drinking due to the C-19.

He noted that he recently had a huge line outside of his store with individuals who were waiting in line to actually rob it.

Bellisario said that with so many people now wearing medical masks, hockey helmets, and Lone Ranger masks, it is getting harder and harder to know who is a robber, and who is just a big-time boozer.

A reporter with the World Register interviewed Mr. Bellisario, and asked him how he would defend his store against a robber.

The former Navy seal told the reporter to look behind the counter.

When the reporter did, he saw three of the biggest meanest pit bulls he has ever seen. He said that he really felt sorry for the first person who was stupid enough to try and hold up this liquor store.

The World Register reporter asked Bellisario what he fed his dogs on. The liquor store owner replied that he fed them Kibbles and Bits laced with the hottest Habanero peppers on the face of the Earth.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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