Unshaven Nectarine Fears Being Impeached

Written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 28 September 2019

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Nectarine Nick admitted to being fuzzy on the details of the impeachment process.

A self-described low-hanging fruit who prefers the natural look, a nectarine named Nick allowed a bit of fuzz to appear on his normally smooth skin, and says that he now fears being impeached.

"Nothing against peaches, of course, but that would just be the pits. I'm holding onto my recessive gene for dear life," said Nick, referring to the genetic marker that generally keeps his skin baby's-bottom-smooth. "But boy, are recessions tough!"

Despite the threat of impeachment looming over him, Nick is doing his best to keep his wits about him. Even so, given the modern-day plethora of cross-breeding and genetic modification, he couldn't deny that virtually any fruitful outcome - even impeachment - is a genuine possibility.

"What can I say? If it happens, it happens," said a resigned Nick, who admitted to being fuzzy on the scientific details of the impeachment process. "No one's above the law of nature."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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