Obesity Linked To Diet Choices

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 28 September 2019

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Not recommended for fatties

A study into the causes of obesity has concluded that the condition is almost certainly linked to whatever sufferers have stuffed down their gullets.

The five-minute study undertaken by four men in a west Hull pub found that excessive bingeing on foods with a high sugar content almost always resulted in the gorger gaining weight.

Paradoxically, claimed one of the men:

"More gorging, less gorgeous."

Just as paradoxically, said another man,

"Less gorging, more gorgeous."

The third man to speak agreed with these paradoxicalizations:

"The less you eat, the more thin you get; the more you eat, the less thin you get!"

The last member of the group, not wanting to be outdone by his paradoxing pals, said:

"The more you don't eat, the less fat you get; the less you don't eat, the more fat you get!"

Another man, standing next to the pool table, said:

"Plus fat people are ugly, and usually smell like they need a bath."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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