Donald Trump's right hand index finger is to sue the small-handed, stone-cold loser Donald Trump for over-use.
The angry digit, speaking in a far more statesmanlike way than its owner, said: 'Every time he wants to make another one of his moronic, unreasonable statements, there I am. It was bad enough when he was simply using me to fashion statements of mediocrity and bullshit on Twitter, but then the hands and the rest of the fingers could take some of the blame as well. Here I am though, pointing all on my own.'
In a similar story, the President's private parts have had their law-suits thrown out, for fears of offending public decency.