Pacific Gas & Electric plans shutdown of power to entire state of California
Due to the latest outbreak of fire caused by its own faulty transmission wires, PG&E has said it simply can’t afford too many more homeless bringing lawsuits against the company. Once again, as with the recent horrific Kincaid fire in Northern...
Read full storyTrump considering hero dog to replace Pence in 2020 campaign
Mr. Trump has announced that the heroic canine, Conan, who assisted commandoes in bringing down Abu Bakr-al Baghdadi, will visit the White House soon. Conan was injured during the raid, but has recuperated and returned to service. Conan is a veter...
Read full storyMajor Morgan Dance Album Released
Kevin Wilkes, a 24-year-old hipster from Chutney-on-the Fritz, who recently started a business sewing mittens together, and opened an Etch-a-sketch-themed cafe, has further diversified his business portfolio with the release of Major Catastrophe, a d...
Read full storyMan who couldn't turn a profit in a casino still President of the United States
There was consternation in Washington, that failed casino owner Donald Trump is still the President of the United States. 'It all started as a joke,' said Republican support Norris Morris, 'but then it got more serious, when he ran, and then won,...
Read full storySpirograph Bistro Opens
In Orpington, retired multi-millionaire, Colin Powell Montgomery Ablitt Smyth the third, has just opened a Spirograph bistro. Following on from the news that Kevin Wilkes, a 24-year-old hipster from Chutney-on-the-Fritz has opened an etch-a-sketch...
Read full storyEtch-a-sketch Cafe Opens
Hipster Kevin Wilkes, who has just set up a business sewing mittens together, so that fully-grown adults can relive a tiny amount of their long-forgotten childhood, has had a busy week, for today he is also opening up the first Etch-a-sketch cafe.
Read full storyHipster sewing mittens together
Hipster Kevin Wilkes, a 24-year-old entrepreneur from Chutney on the Fritz, has hit upon a brilliant business plan. 'Yesterday,' said the hirsute business boffin, 'I saw two toddlers in the park, with their mittens hanging out of their coats, and...
Read full storyMan surprised he can't buy shorts in the shops now
Barry Asshat, a 63-year-old from Chutney on the Fritz was shocked when he went to his local High Street clothing emporium, and couldn't buy shorts. 'Imagine my surprise' said the unimaginative buffoon 'I went to Mark and Spencers in the High Stree...
Read full storyNashville Realtor Finds Online Dating More of a Seller's Market
Single for over three years, real estate agent Mike Fordham of Nashville, Tennessee, dipped his toe into the world of online dating, only to find it to be more of a seller's market. "What these women are asking is out of control," sad Fordham. "I'...
Read full storyTop 10 Reasons Cats Aren't Mentioned in the Bible
Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned anywhere in it. If you care to, you can find calves and camels, canker worms and cattle, cocks and colts, crickets and crocodiles, but no ca...
Read full storyParrotman's Parrots Think He Is A Right Knobhead
Ted Parrotman, the man who changed his name and his appearance because he so much wanted to resemble his pet parrots, may have impressed a lot of people, but not the parrots themselves. They have nothing good to say about him whatsoever. For pe...
Read full storyHull Man Awarded Damages After Getting Cock Trapped In Zip
A man who was injured when he trapped his penis in the zip of his jeans recently, has been awarded record damages of 50p. The man snagged his cock as he hastily tried to fasten his flyhole after having a piss in a shop doorway in Hull town centre...
Read full storyHull Man Found Crying Over Spilt Milk
A Hull man living in the Thai capital of Bangkok was said by friends to be "extremely upset with himself" this morning, after they found him at his apartment crying over some spilt milk. The 'spilt mlk' the man was crying over, was from a 1-litre...
Read full storyHull Man Gets Own Back On Mosquito
Reports are emerging from the Thai capital of Bangkok, that a mosquito that had already bitten a man on the leg, but continued to relentlessly stalk the victim for 'afters', has been killed, after the aforementioned man remorselessly swatted it to de...
Read full storySpace Junk A Threat To Spacial Warming
Junk that is floating around in space could become a major contributor to Spacial Warming, it has been disclosed, and legal action against NASA is being considered. NASA could be prosecuted for what is often known as 'fly-tipping', a practice wher...
Read full storyHull Man Has Four Attempts At Picking Hair Up From Floor
There was annoyance on a grand scale this morning when an Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok took four attempts to successfully pick up a hair from the floor. The hair, one of the few that are left on the head of Moys Kenwood, 48, ha...
Read full storyThe "Chain Letter" You Always Wanted To See But Never Actually Did
Greetings! Your help is needed! Today, you have the special opportunity to make a real difference in somebody’s life. Please read the following story all the way through, and you will see why. I am an over-caffeinated, hyperactive, alcoholic, s...
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