Hipster Kevin Wilkes, a 24-year-old entrepreneur from Chutney on the Fritz, has hit upon a brilliant business plan.
'Yesterday,' said the hirsute business boffin, 'I saw two toddlers in the park, with their mittens hanging out of their coats, and I thought "why don't I do something like that for adults?", so I bought a job lot of mittens and gloves from the market, a lot of elastic, and my mates, Shagger and Turnip, and I, are now sewing them together. It is a brilliant plan, that just won't fail, especially when I start selling them on E-bay.'
The gloves and mittens are for sale on Ebay, with a starting price of £25.00. We tried telling him they were too expensive, people could make their own at home, if they wanted to, and it makes adults look like *****, but would he listen? No, he wouldn't.