Spirograph Bistro Opens

Written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 8 November 2019

image for Spirograph Bistro Opens
God, these numbers just won't work, will they?

In Orpington, retired multi-millionaire, Colin Powell Montgomery Ablitt Smyth the third, has just opened a Spirograph bistro.

Following on from the news that Kevin Wilkes, a 24-year-old hipster from Chutney-on-the-Fritz has opened an etch-a-sketch-themed cafe, it seems that this is a great time to be alive.

Colin told us 'Due to not paying taxes for years, due to the Conservatives, I had millions to pump into this load of c****, and it will be a tax write-off as well, so really, I won't be losing money on it. My dad would be so proud of me, and it would serve him right for calling me Colin, the name of Tory-voting sociopaths.'

The news will have no impact anywhere else. Just a man trying to make another man proud.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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