Barry Asshat, a 63-year-old from Chutney on the Fritz was shocked when he went to his local High Street clothing emporium, and couldn't buy shorts.
'Imagine my surprise' said the unimaginative buffoon 'I went to Mark and Spencers in the High Street, and they didn't have any shorts for sale. None at all'
Chutney on the Fritz Marks and Spencers is a Just Food store, so they don't sell shorts anyway.
'Looks like I will have to make do with the ones I already have, or maybe I can cut up a pair of old trousers instead'.
Felicity Dowager, Brian's only friend said 'This will be yet another story to write about on Twitter'.