Boris Johnson targets dead voters for the next election
This week, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been visiting graveyards, tombs and haunted houses throughout the country to build support for a possible snap election in the autumn. Spokesman Jeff Hades explained, "The voters who are most closely...
Read full storyFans Say Billie Eilish Sounds Like Lorde
Billie Eilish is one of today’s top pop music idols. But she has been dogged by accusations that she sounds a lot like Lorde. Eilish has even recorded a song on the subject, “Wish I Weren’t Just Like You.” But she hasn’t spoken publicly on the subjec...
Read full storyEpstein Body Not His: El Chapo Was Last Cellmate
BILLINGSGATE POST: Adding to the mystery of the presumed death of notorious multimillionaire pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein, was a report that the body found in Epstein’s cell was cremated before an autopsy was performed, and that no signs of choke mar...
Read full storyGuy Unable to Hide a Single BJ in Oval Office Amazingly Killed Dozens with Wife, Left Zero Evidence or Witnesses
Washington - It has been reported from very reliable sources such as Trump, Facebook memes, and various tweets from Infowars and other right wing investigators, that a former President, along with his politician/first lady wife, were able to murder d...
Read full storyJeffrey Epstein’s Hole-In-One At Trump Creepy Hollow
Creepy Hollow, New York - (Fore! Play News): Convicted predatory sex monster, Jeffrey Epstein, who died in a Manhattan jail cell this weekend, reportedly scored his best-ever hit at one of President Trump’s famous putting greens, according to files...
Read full storyResidents of Storm-Stricken Puerto Rico Remain Unable to Obtain Insulin, Coca Cola and Spam
Nearly two years after the major storm that devastated Puerto Rico in 2017, many residents still remain unable to obtain insulin medication, Coca Cola, and other food staples like Oreos, ice cream, and Spam. "At this point, some people are being f...
Read full storyNew Labour Party Slogan unveiled -"There but not involved"
The Labour Party today announced the new slogan that they keep on braying about at every available opportunity in their attempt to bully Parliament into holding a general election that no one except themselves wants. The new slogan is based on the...
Read full storyNigel Farage projectile vomits onto crowd
MEP rabble-rouser Nigel Farage gave a speech in Dagenham this week, but instead of talking to his adoring fans, he spewed streams of chunky vomit onto them. The assembled crowd lapped it up. Some wore waterproof clothing, but others stood with the...
Read full storyAll Foreigners Sound The Bloody Same, Says UK Athletics Boss
UK Athletics performance director, Neil Black, has today reacted to an embarrassing situation at the European Athletics Team Championships in Poland, where a shot putter was selected to run in the 4x400metres relay, by blaming the gaffe on "a technic...
Read full storyBathroom Graffiti Leads To Existential Breakthrough
What started as a questionable choice in food last evening, turned out to lead one man to discover the answer to his entire existence. Jacob Frye, a 33-year-old accountant from Glendale, had been eating with his family at Big Joe’s Crabs on Baseline...
Read full storySerena Williams Retires From Tennis
Serena Williams, the winner of 39 Grand Slam tennis titles, and who has spent an incredible 319 weeks of her career as Women's number 1, finally decided to call it a day yesterday, and announced her retirement from the game. Williams, 37, chose, i...
Read full storyTrump, GOP Thrilled as Barr Promises to “Investigate Clinton Murders, Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny Soon”
Washington - President Trump tweeted out to his adoring groupies last night that his personal consigliere, Bill Barr, would soon open an investigation into the dozens of people who were associated with the Clintons over the last several decades who,...
Read full storyJeffrey Epstein 'Suicide Watch' Explained
Following intense criticism of the US prison authorities for allowing disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein to take his own life in his cell, even after having been on a Suicide Watch, the warden at the facility has spoken out to explain what a 'Suicid...
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