There were 415 spoof news stories published in January 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Taylor Swift Says She's Never Ever Gonna Stop Writing Songs About Her Ex-Boyfriends
BOISE, Idaho - Taylor Swift was a big hit with the concert goers at her latest performance which took place in The Mashed Potatoes Arena in Boise. The young 23-year-old country singer performed six encores and told the crowd that she thanked them...
Read full storyTartan Paint is finally invented
It's been a well-known practical joke for years now, someone is asked to fetch a list of products which don't exist and they fall for it because in the spur of the moment the items sound quite believable. Examples of products people might be asked fo...
Read full storyNew Gun Control Ideas Are 'Run Up the Flagpole'
Washington DC -- The presidential task force to control gun violence is floating several ideas through the national media to get public reaction before it releases its final report. Panel head Vice President Joe Biden put it this way: "Before we g...
Read full storyA List of Celebrities Who Have Already Broken Their 2013 New Year's Resolutions
Noted author Edgar Allan Poe once said that rules are made to be broken. And he should know since he had a history of breaking all kinds of rules, regulations, guidelines, and basic metaphorical musings. Poe, whose real name was Bernardo Chang Poetic, once told a reporter with the Milwaukee Morning Mentioner, that he loved the word photosynthesis, and he tried to incorporate it into everything...
Read full storyA List of Some License Plate Slogans For 2013
The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just announced a list of ten brand new automotive license plate slogans for 2013. Winnie Leona "Tags" Tagliobissi, the commission's executive director, informed the news media that, unlike previous years, none of the submitted slogans were rejected due to either vulgarity, racism, use of foreign words, or improper grammar.
Read full storyPETA Furious About Iran Launching A Monkey Into Outer Space
NORFOLK, Virginia - There are an awful lot of unhappy folks at the organization known as PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The group's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter sent an email to the Iranian Assistant Def...
Read full storyColorado Opens Up Hundreds of Pot Parks
DENVER - A new meaning has just been given to the old John Denver song "Rocky Mountain High." Since the state's voters voted to make marijuana legal, literally tens of thousands of young people have moved to The Rocky Mountain State from such plac...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Explains The Pot Photo: I Was Just Holding It For A Friend
HOLLYWOOD - Many of Tinsel Town's entertaiment publications and news agencies are beginning to refer to Justin Bieber as the Male Version of Lindsay Lohan. The 18-year-old Canadian singer has apparently decided that he would much rather travel in...
Read full storyCan Wearing Feathers Help to Attract the Opposite Sex?
Hey, it worked for burlesque queens. Even more surprising, though, apparently it also worked for dinosaurs, according to recent scientific research. And as soon as these findings regarding dinosaurs were released, there were lots of interesti...
Read full storyTrillion Dollar Coin Lost Down The Back Of Sofa
The Treasury Department who could have averted a standoff over the debt ceiling by minting a cure-all trillion-dollar coin have admitted that they have lost the coin after a worker took the coin home to show his kids. It is believed the coin was...
Read full storyGeneral Synod To Vote On A Boycott Of The Laws Of Physics
Controversy within the Church of England has intensified today on the eve of a crucial vote by the General Synod as to whether Christians should defy some of the laws of physics. 'We are sick of scientists not taking seriously our religious Truths...
Read full storyIdaho Bars The Term Couch Potato
BOISE, Idaho - The state of Idaho has finally enacted legislation that will ban the national term Couch Potato from being spoken anywhere in the state. Senator Panola Lulu Saddlebread, 43, of Blackfoot, told a gathering of the Idaho news media tha...
Read full storyBritney Spears Is Very Upset With Beyonce
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The recently fired X-Factor judge Britney Spears is reportedly extremely angry at fellow singer Beyonce. The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle is reporting that Spears told The Views Whoopi Goldberg that she does not appreciate Beyon...
Read full storyLance Armstrong Ordered To Be Oprah's Pedicab Rider
In what many are calling a harsh punishment, disgraced cheater and confirmed liar, bully, twat and complete and utter bastard, Lance Armstrong, has been court ordered to pedal Oprah Winfrey around for 3 months as her personal pedicab driver. Some,...
Read full storyKathy Griffin Says She May Have Ungayed Anderson Cooper on National Television
NEW YORK CITY - Kathy Griffin co-hosting the New Year's Eve celebration with Anderson Cooper on CNN certainly gave out the New Year's kisses heard round the world. In a move that even stunned and shocked the long time fans of the comedian known as...
Read full storyRhode Island Places Strict Restrictions On Attack Hamsters
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - According to recent government studies, the state of Rhode Island has more hamsters than any other state in the entire United States. Professor Saxton B. Funderburken, head of the Agriculture Department at Chicken of the...
Read full storySavvy Shoppers Saving At Checkout By Peeling Fruit And Vegetables Prior To Purchasing - But Grocery Stores Express Concern
Thrifty shoppers spurred by the growing economic downturn are finding new ways to save mega bucks at the grocery store checkout; however some stores claim that the "penny wise" consumers may see an increase in prices should supermarkets be forced to...
Read full storyThe U.S. Government To Outlaw Liposuction
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move that has long been overdue, the government of the United States has moved to outlaw the weight loss program of liposuction. A spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Weight, Darth S. Clutterbuck, stated to the news med...
Read full storyNASA Purchases Inflatable Room for Use in Space: What's It For?
As soon as spoof science reporter Gail Farrelly read the article, "International Space Station Will Get First Inflatable Addition" in Florida Today, she launched an investigation into this very unusual contract deal. She'd like to find out how the a...
Read full storyNot ALL Cats Killing Billions Of Animals Claims Baltimore Man
Recent reports that cats are one of the top threats to US wildlife, killing billions of animals each year, have been dismissed as "utter crap" by Baltimore man Brendan Packham. Researchers had estimated that cats are responsible for the deaths of...
Read full storyNASCAR'S Danica Patrick Denies The Derek Hough Rumors
AMARILLO, Texas - NASCAR race driver Danica Patrick was in the Texas panhandle visiting one of her cousins identified as Aspen Loopkinlocker. Recent reports have stated that Danica's marriage has hit a big oil spill and her #10 race car is spinnin...
Read full storyA Dog Is NOT Mans Best Friend Claims Inbred Redneck Man
Good ole' boy Lee Perkins, card carrying member of the NRA and secret cross dresser, claims he is sick and tired of folk telling him that mans best friend is a dog, despite he himself owning several well trained, obedient and loyal canines. "It is...
Read full storyThe God of Data - A Lesson From the Book of Dataronomy
And the God of Data sat on his heavenly throne and he looked down upon the world of education and he said, "They know not what they do" And lo, the God of Data said, "I shall create a new world of education and it shall be created in five days, like what there are in a school week. And on the first day the God of Data created targets so that all of the children could be numbered to be judged on...
Read full storyIowa Bans Tongue Wrestling
DES MOINES - The senate of the state of Iowa has finally passed a bill that was first proposed two months ago. State Senator Claudette Cora Wonderwillow, 53, of Sioux City, introduced the bill which is listed as TW Bill 01 (Tongue Wrestling Bill 0...
Read full storyA World War II Japanese Two-Man Sub Found In Lake Erie
CLEVELAND - A member of the Ohio Military Historical Society has just announced an unbelievable announcement. Speaking before the monthly meeting of the OMHS, Executive Director Mervin W. Kiddlefuddle, 61, stated that a couple of scuba divers from...
Read full storyFrickin' frackin' hell: plot to exhume Jane Fonda
Glendale, California - Cemetery officials have applied to move the dual Oscar winning actress' remains from Glendale's famous Forest Lawn Mammorial Park. An exhumation order sought from the Glendale C**nty Morgue Chief Coroner is backed by Big Oil...
Read full storyThe World's Smallest Owl
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - An Alabama forest ranger has just discovered what is believed to be the smallest owl in history. Ranger Cunningham Quickquibble, said that he was patrolling an isolated area of The Cornbread State Forest when he heard what so...
Read full storyNASA blow-up dolls for inflatable space station module
Pasadena, Ca - "Just a couple of big breaths should get these babes going," the head of NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory said today, "so long as you don't have an allergy to rubber or speak with a lithp - er...lisp!" News of the delivery was welco...
Read full storyIllegal Aliens Are Now Being Shot Out Of A Circus Cannon From Mexico Into The USA
EL PASO - In an item that qualifies for the Just When You Thought You'd Heard It All Department comes some astounding news from the city country music singer Marty Robbins sang about in his hit "El Paso." A member of the United States Border Patro...
Read full storyPrison Overcrowding Solution Creates Controversy in Alabama
With prisons and jails full to bursting point the state of Alabama has come up with a novel way of releasing criminals back into society earlier than their initial sentences demanded. While not classed as parole the idea, the brainchild of The Ala...
Read full storyNew iPhone App Makes Congress More Responsive
Washington DC - Americans may soon be using their smart phones to force the Federal government to be more sensitive to their needs and opinions. The new, higher level of democracy comes thanks to a recently introduced iPhone app, called Voter A...
Read full storyJesse James shoots Ned Kelly!
Ned Kelly, Irish-catholic, Australian rebel and bandit has just been buried after he lost a shoot-out with Jesse James in heaven. The whole thing started after a fight in a saloon called "Heaven and Hell Whores and Nuns". Jesse called Ned an Irish...
Read full storyClint Eastwood To Star In A Gun Control Commercial
HOLLYWOOD - In a surprise move that even surprised his own wife, noted Tinsel Town tough guy, Clint Eastwood has agreed to star in a commercial for gun control. Eastwood was approached by a national group who asked him if he would agree to make th...
Read full storyParis Hilton Talks About Her Nude Calendar
BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton was in the Haven of Hair Salon getting her split ends taken care of. As she sat in her chair she noticed that there was a copy of her brand new 2013 Paris Hilton Nude Calendar sitting on top of a Cosmopolitan Magazine.
Read full storyHangover's Ken Jeong To Star In "Manti Te'o - The Mama of All Hoaxes"
HOLLYWOOD - Word out of Tinsel Town is that famed Italian director Bellanino Terrabini has just agreed to direct the new Tri-Moon Productions film Manti Te'o - The Mama of All Hoaxes. The movie deals with Manti Malietau Louis Elmer Te'o, a Samoan-...
Read full storyThe Lone Bradley and Rajon Tonto!
Amid a cloud of dust with a hearty hi-yo, can Avery Bradley be forever riding the canyons looking for law-breakers? It was months ago that Bradley was ambushed by two shoulders on the side of the road. Left for dead, he has been healing by a myste...
Read full storyCity to install airbags in downtown lampposts to protect texting pedestrians
The city council last night voted to spend $250,000 to install automotive-type airbags on all downtown lampposts. The decision came after hundreds of pedestrians have been injured over the past few years while inadvertently walking into posts wh...
Read full storyTom Brady Promises That The New England Patriots Will Win This Year's Super Bowl
NEW YORK CITY - Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and his high heel shoe model wife Gisele were in the Big Apple doing some post-Christmas shopping. Tom said that his wife had picked up a great deal on some imported Icelandic hand mittens and he had...
Read full storyAmerica Replaces Coins With Cons To Fix The Debt Disaster
Washington DC - Forget about trillion dollar coins. A request by President Obama for new ways to pay off the national debt has prompted an avalanche of better scams and more sophisticated innovations designed to rescue America from bankruptcy. In...
Read full storyGisele Bünchen-Brady Says The New England Patriots Will Beat The Baltimore Ravens By 29 points
BRENTWOOD, California - Gisele Bünchen, the outspoken wife of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, was lying out by the pool at their $20 million mansion, which she named Casa Touchdown. The infamous underwear model was speaking with Dottie Bazooka of...
Read full storyArkansas Orders All Full Frontal Female Nudity Men's Magazines Burned
LITTLE ROCK - Several Arkansas citizens action groups have threatened to protest in the nude in order to bring attention to the out-of-control publication and distribution of X-rated men's magazines showing full frontal female nudity. Mavis Lorett...
Read full storyNew Study Reveals That New Studies Really Not That Informative
A recent study conducted at the University of Georgia concluded that new studies are really not that informative and that those who study studies, though studious, studied too much. Speaking from his study, Professor Jason Barlow, who boasts an im...
Read full storyNew York Mob Boss Talks About Gun Control
BROOKLYN - Salvatore Goombalini, head of the notorious Goombalini Family, has stated his opinion on gun control. The mafioso whose business card reads: Goombalini's Restaurant Supplies, commented to Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magaz...
Read full storyLady Gaga's New Year's Resolution
NEW YORK CITY - All of the Times Square New Year's Eve confetti and streamers have long been swept away by the NYC sanitation workers and the fireworks smoke has dissipated out over the Nova Scotia coastline. And Lady Gaga once again has sat down...
Read full storyFIFA To Ban Flares At All Soccer Games
FIFA, the World governing body of soccer, announced today an immediate ban on flares at all World Cup matches, stating the ban was long overdue. With the 2014 World Cup set to be staged in Brazil many see the ban as not only ensuring a safer envir...
Read full storyRepublicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'
WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...
Read full storyPlaying If Only With the Boston Celtics…
The Boston Celtics have been on the receiving end of less abuse than Hillary Clinton for her concussion, flu, and blood clot. And, the Celtics suffer only apathy, softness of heart, and colorful sneakers. If the Celtics were liberal politicians, t...
Read full storyFood Painting Industry In Danger As People Take To Social Media To Show Off Favorite Foods
New research from the University of Miami suggests that the food painting industry stands on the brink of extinction, as people have found much easier and more timely ways of showing the world what they're eating by simply posting it to Twitter or In...
Read full storyThe Sign Of Ophiuchus
I had been an astrologer for very many years, diligently generating predictions from the ancient charts for both private clients and national periodicals. For much of that time, however, I had harboured an unspoken suspicion that something was not quite right. It seemed to me that predictions were frequently inaccurate - in fact they were nearly always completely wrong. I had, nevertheless,...
Read full storyGhost Of Margaret Thatcher Seen Again At 10, Downing Street!
The ghost of Margaret Thatcher has again been reported seen at 10, Downing Street, this time by Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. A terrified Mr Clegg, who managed to escape into the street through a ground floor office window after being confronted...
Read full storyKansas Votes To Prohibit The Use of The Term Ménage à Trois
TOPEKA - After a heated debate that lasted six hours, the Kansas State Senate has voted 21 to 19 to prohibit the use of the French sexual term Ménage à Trois. Senator Agatha Tarbutton, 71, of Wichita, initially made the proposal after she was at a...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Upset At Explicit Pix
TIJUANA, Mexico - Two time Dancing With The Stars contestant Kirstie Alley took a shopping trip down to Tijuana to pick up some Sponge Bob Square Pants piñatas for a neighbor's little girl. While walking around the market place Kirstie received lo...
Read full storyThat Was One Mad As Hell Neutered Great Dane!
MUNCIE, Indiana - In an unbelievable turn of events, Clover Q. Chitterling of Muncie took his 187-pound Great Dane Mr. Bruiser to get neutered. And what occurred afterward was simply astounding. Mr. Chitterling, who is an unemployed private invest...
Read full storyPoor memory linked to sheep problems
Researchers have found that memory problems - especially in older people - could be due to lack of sheep, causing lack of sleep. Many people used to rely on counting sheep to get a good night's sleep. But these days, due to lack of sheep,...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Has A Crush On Taylor Swift's Ex-Boyfriend Harry Styles
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has revealed to an entertainment news reporter that she has a crush on Taylor Swift's latest member of The Taylor Swift Ex-Boyfriend's Club, Harry Styles, of the boy band One Direction. Cyrus, who is engaged to down u...
Read full storyObama responds to Chuck Hagel rumors with crafty ringtone message
Washington AC/DC - "Either our Commander-in-Chief has gone completely doolally," former US Senator from Nebraska Chuck Hagel said today, "or I'm misinterpretatin' the subtlety of his response!" The comments come amid reports that Hagel is in shock...
Read full storyNew York moves to ban assault shakers
New York, NY - The state of New York is moving to ban assault shakers, according to a spokesman from the governor's office, Mr. Harry Pepper. "We have no issue, now, with salt shakers. But who, in their right mind, needs an assault shaker?", Mr.
Read full storyIndian Man Sitting On A Toilet Causes Riots
Parts of New Delhi, India had to be closed off today after violent confrontations with authorities erupted after an Indian man was chased away from a public toilet he was sitting on. India's armed forces canceled New Year's Eve parties on Monday,...
Read full storyThe Super Bowl Committee Has Banned The Jenny McCarthy Commercial For Paul Bunyan Condoms
NEW YORK CITY - Hollywood celebrity Jenny McCarthy is reportedly fit to be tied after hearing that her 30 second Super Bowl commercial has been dropped from the list of Super Bowl advertisements. According to Clarice Belle Terracutler, an assistan...
Read full storyRihanna and Chris Brown Say They're Happier Than Most Couples
CHICAGO - Rihanna and her former boyfriend Chris Brown were recently spotted at the Windy City's infamous Crocked Crocodile Club having a fine old time giggling, laughing, and touching each others privates. Several patrons reported that the pair o...
Read full storyOprah extracts the truth out of Lance Armstrong; "it was that damn bum cream" he claims
Oprah Winfrey has interviewed Lance Armstrong in a 2 hour session that is due to be sent out on US TV in two parts. Oprah took on the assignment because behind the Armstrong charade she believed there is a real person sitting on his saddle and not a...
Read full storyPrince Charles "Immensely Proud" Of Prince Harry - So Is His Father
Prince Charles is said to be "immensely proud" of third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry, telling friends that the young Prince is nothing short of a hero and proudly stands for all things British. Equally praising is Prince Harry's fathe...
Read full storyTeenage pregnancy plummets as Facebumping hits an all time high
Tallahassee, FL- Mike Shoemaker, PR director for the Florida Department of Health, reported today that teen pregnancy had dropped nearly 50% and the rate of STDs have dropped nearly 70% over the last 15 months! The teens of Florida have turned...
Read full storyThe TSA Says Bye-Bye To Airport Body Scanners
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After embarrassing millions of airport travelers, the Transportation Security Administration has announced that within five months all airport full-body scanners will be unplugged and removed from all of the nation's airports. T...
Read full storyLance Armstrong and Roger Clemens Going Into Business Together
CHICAGO - It appears that two of the sports world's fallen figures have announced plans for a new business venture. Lance Armstrong, the lying road racing cyclist champion and Roger Clemens, the lying baseball pitcher recently met at The Crocked C...
Read full storyHistorians Find Motivational Posters In Hitler's Bunker
BERLIN, DE - An excavation in Berlin, Germany, unveiled a secret room inside Hitler's Bunker, decorated with scores of motivational posters. "The posters range in size and quantity," said Dr. Robert Herzog from the University of Berlin, "from the...
Read full storyAfter The NBA Season Ends - The Lakers Will Star In A New Reality TV Show
LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that the owner of The Los Angeles Lakers, Jerry Buss, has finally figured it out. He has contacted Tansinella Wickovich, a spokesperson with The Epitome Television Network, and plans are in the works to have the curre...
Read full storyGun Crime Violators To Have Trigger Fingers Amputated
In a bold move President Obama announced today that anyone caught in possession of an unlicensed firearm will have their trigger fingers amputated without any court proceedings. Police in several states have already been issued with special kniv...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Shopping For Wedding Cakes
NEW ORLEANS - After waiting one full year for his wife (Demi Moore) to file for divorce, Ashton Kutcher has finally taken it upon himself to hit his soon-to-be-ex-wife with divorce papers. Kutcher who is 34, had said that he was in hopes that Moor...
Read full storyGiant Rodent Infestation Causing Anxiety In Florida
A central Florida community has launched citizen patrols after reports that giant sized rodents had been spotted in several locations, striking fear into the hearts of townsfolk. The first sighting of the massive rodent, which some described as 'h...
Read full storyTeenage Boy Opens Fire on Wayne LaPierre and Sean Hannity
National Rifle Association CEO and gun-rights martyr Wayne LaPierre likely was not expecting to be shot at as he celebrated the day after Gun Appreciation Day by shooting off his mouth with Sean Hannity on the Fox Comedy Network. LaPierre said he...
Read full storySpace Ship Lands In Gary Busey's Backyard
TARZANA, California - Someone once said that Gary Busey's rowboat is missing both oars. It's also been said about the man with the bird's nest hairdo that he has all the charm of a speed bump. But Gary has a tremendous sense of humor. He knows...
Read full storyUS Pasta A Hit In Iran
Pasta made in the United States is going down very well in Iran according to news media outlets, with Iranian supermarkets and grocery stores signing an 8 year deal to ensure that US made pasta stays in the country for the foreseeable future. Acco...
Read full storyDear Abby's Last Words: Advises Everyone To "Go Fuck Themselves."
MINNEAPOLIS, MN-In a shocking turn of events ailing Dear Abby advice columnist Pauline Phillips shelved her customary charm by issuing a final declaration for her readers to "go fuck themselves." "I've always looked to her column for quaint life a...
Read full storyBashar al-Assad has no kingdom to rule
A study commissioned by UN human rights commissioner has determined that Bashers al-Assad no longer has a kingdom to rule over after wiping out 60,000 innocent human beings. Al-Assad has created a legacy of anguish and sadness that will haunt his dec...
Read full storyTrains could be given anti-flatulence re-design
Train carriages could soon be built to give better passenger protection against those engaging in extreme flatulence, following a three-year study. Scientists have devised a set of key changes that could contain explosive blasts and reduce the amo...
Read full storySpoof Editor ups the ante with $100 message charging
London - Writers hoping to contact elusive billionaire Spoof website owner Mark Lowton got a shock this morning when the new messaging service fee came into effect. The measure is thought to be a practical solution to the thousands of cyber beggin...
Read full storyAtheism Outlawed In Arkansas
LITTLE ROCK - In a historic move, the Arkansas state legislature has voted 34-1 to outlaw atheism within the state. Senator Stubblefield P. Bootneck, 49, of Monticello stated to Political Salad Bar Magazine that the issue was voted on to show the...
Read full storyFirst pics of Hillary's 'bloody clot' released
New York - "And it's a big one," Dr Heemer Globin, Emeritus Professor of Experimental Lobotomy - er...Phlebotomy! - at New York's Seedy Sign-I Clinic said today as images of the pesky clot went viral in the blogosphere. The Manhattan blood-thinnin...
Read full storyRobotics Company to Manufacture Androids
Tucson AZ: Acme Robotics Inc. (ARI) a company that specializes in biotechnology, robotics and artificial intelligence applications announced the development of androids for home and business applications. The two male and female android prototypes...
Read full storyPresident Obama and The First Mama Attend A Hip Hop Concert
DETROIT - President Barack Obama was the guest speaker at The 30th Annual Hip Hop Concert and Dinner which was held at Detroit's Carburetor Coliseum. The president and the First Mama took in the sounds of such noted hip hop and rap artists as The...
Read full storyPluto still angry about being downgraded from planet to icy dwarf
Although it's been nearly seven years since the status of Pluto was changed from a planet to an icy dwarf, hard feelings remain. "Hey, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are just big gasballs--at least I'm 70-percent rock," complained Pluto.
Read full storyCongress to Star in a Super Bowl Commercial
Hollywood - Faced with the lowest approval rating in the history of approval ratings, the United States Congress plans to promote itself with a television ad produced specifically to run during the Super Bowl. "Everybody keeps making fun of us," c...
Read full storyBloomberg Picking a Puppet For Mayor
New York - With less than a year left on his tainted third term, Mayor Michael Bloomberg is personally selecting a successor -- auditioning puppet candidates for the mayoral elections that will be held this fall. The lineup of possibilities is fai...
Read full storyElin Nordegren Tells Ex-Hubby Tiger Woods: Been There, Done That
NEW YORK CITY - Tiger Woods was sitting by himself at the prestigious Intoxicated Iguana Bar in New York City when he was approached by a reporter. Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors asked him if she could have a few words with him and the man whose re...
Read full storyBudget airline claim Iceland are to blame for volcanic eruption!
Cheap and nasty airline, R++n++r, have been ordered to pay compensation to their passengers that were grounded during the Icelandic eruption of the volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, not Bjork. Airline boss, Michael O'Leprechaun (name changed for illegal...
Read full storyDownton Abbey's Stock Falls Off the Fiscal Cliff
Living in a large country house in England in 1920 apparently is not much different than living in a large white house in Washington, D.C., in 2013. A fiscal cliff seems to be around the corner for old Downton, where the best offering from a rich...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Plan D. C. Flyover for Inauguration Day
Monday, January 21, will be a very special day for Twitter birdies in the U.S. Many of them have told management that they are taking the day off to participate in the public inauguration of President Barack Obama in Wash., D. C. A patriotic "fly...
Read full storyAmericans, Driven Mad By Politics, Jump Like Lemmings Over The Fiscal Cliff
Driven to the brink of their sanity by the constant warnings from politicians over what would happen if we went over the fiscal cliff thousands of Americans have gone ahead and jumped over the brink of the fiscal cliff on their own. Still reeling fro...
Read full storyStanford Band Member Wearing Pro Marijuana Shirt During The Rose Bowl Show Causes Uproar Across America
The Wisconsin Badgers took on the Stanford Cardinals in the 99th Rose Bowl game in Pasadena California New Years day. Stanford took the glory with a final score 2-12. This defeat makes the Badgers, three time losers in as many years. While some...
Read full storyMona Lisa spliff crop circle appears on face of the Moon
Washington - International Space Station crop circle etchers behind a 200ft crop circle near Stonehenge, Wiltshire depicting ET smoking a classic ganja pipe appear to have struck again tonight. Their antics were widely reported in 2011 by QM-News...
Read full storyBan On Cinemas, Malls And Schools Comes Into Force In Small Floridian Town
A ban on schools, cinemas and malls came into force midnight Friday in the small town of Overreact in Florida in what many are calling a "brave" move, others calling it "just stupid". Despite incurring the wrath of shoppers, movie lovers, schoolch...
Read full storyEugenics professor hires Pippa Middleton to give birth to world's second human-Yeti hybrid
Cambridge, Massachusetts - "Sure wish it was the world's first human-Sasquatch cross," Prof Joseph Mengele-Flintstone said today, "unfortunately that hybrid's already gestating inside Pippa's sister Kate according to reports." The famous US Poison...
Read full storyJim Nabors "Gomer Pyle" Marries A Guy - Shazam!
SEATTLE - Jim Nabors, 82, and Stan Cadwallader, 64, were both as happy as a wolf at a sheep party. The groom and groom exchanged vows in Seattle after a 38 year courtship and quickly returned back to their home in Honolulu, Hawaii for the honeymoo...
Read full storyNew York Jets Coach Rex Ryan Gets To Keep His Job
NEW YORK CITY - Many hardcore Jets fans were stunned to hear that Coach Rex Ryan managed to get by Black Monday without losing his job. In fact Las Vegas oddsmakers were giving 3 to 1 odds that Coach "Footsie" Ryan would be turning in the key to h...
Read full storyPay to Stay plan for British Jails
Back in the 1850's Charles Dickens wrote an editorial about a man who had been wrongly arrested for robbery. The real criminal was arrested and later convicted, he served 5 years in Prison. The man who was wrongly arrested spent 40 years in jail. The...
Read full storyKatie Holmes Says She's Giving Up Acting
NEW YORK CITY - The ex-Mrs. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, has vowed to give up the silver screen and move on to another career field. Holmes, recently spoke with Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle at a Shanghai Sue's Sushi Sandwich Shop in Manhat...
Read full storyManti Te'o Falls Off Banana Boat
Only now can the shocking truth be revealed. Manti Te'o is a creation of social media. He does not really exist. His play for Notre Dame has been revealed as a giant Photoshop hoax. Most of his game appearances have been labeled photo bombs. CIA s...
Read full storyBeyoncé only got to sing 'because she's Michelle's daughter' according to reports
Washington AC/DC - "That's why Michelle was looking daggers at him during the Inauguration Lunch," Republican House Speaker John Boehner's shoe-shine boy commented today on the decision to cherry-pick popular entertainer Beyoncé Knowles to sing the S...
Read full storyNRA Head LaPierre Fits Profile of 'Lone Gunman' Reports FBI
Wayne LaPierre, notorious leader of the gun cult religion known as the NRA, is under investigation by the FBI as fitting the profile of the notorious 'lone gunman' so prevalent in modern American literature and films. His stoney faced demeanor, extre...
Read full storyTaco Bell Adopts New Slogan, "Where's the Modified Corn Starch?"
In the competitive world of advertising, changing the slogan of a product that consumers have come to know and love can either result in you bathing in money, or bathing once a month. Executives at Taco Bell have decided take a huge risk by going wit...
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