News Anchor Wolf Blitzer Accused of Lying About His Sleep Number Setting

CNN announced today the network has suspended Wolf Blitzer, host of the news program The Situation Room after he allegedly lied about his Sleep Number setting. "Wolf has told other correspondents and members of the public on numerous occasions t...

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Space Ship Lands In Gary Busey's Backyard

Funny story: Space Ship Lands In Gary Busey's Backyard

TARZANA, California - Someone once said that Gary Busey's rowboat is missing both oars. It's also been said about the man with the bird's nest hairdo that he has all the charm of a speed bump. But Gary has a tremendous sense of humor. He knows...

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Giant Rodent Infestation Causing Anxiety In Florida

Funny story: Giant Rodent Infestation Causing Anxiety In Florida

A central Florida community has launched citizen patrols after reports that giant sized rodents had been spotted in several locations, striking fear into the hearts of townsfolk. The first sighting of the massive rodent, which some described as 'h...

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New brain: "I'm living the dream," says Louis

Funny story: New brain: "I'm living the dream," says Louis

Looking tired but relaxed, Louis Walsh emerged this afternoon from Beaumont Hospital with neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem at his side. Louis waved enthusiastically to no-one in particular as a Private Eye reporter waited, hungry for the first utterance fr...

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The Lakers May Fire Mike D'Antoni and Hire Phil Jackson

Funny story: The Lakers May Fire Mike D'Antoni and Hire Phil Jackson

LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles Lakers fell to the Phoenix Suns 97-86 in Phoenix in what was billed as Steve Nash's homecoming. The point guard's homecoming was nothing but more heartache as the Lakers are now languishing with a 20-26 record. Spo...

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Boris Gudenuf for London Mayor again

Londoners have shown their Masonite enabling love of the true blue yet again by electing the mop top Tory blond Boris Gudenuf for another turd, or is that term? The leather faced goodbye boy Lank Kivington said it had been a good blow job by blow...

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Queen and Government 'In It Together'

Funny story: Queen and Government 'In It Together'

In an historic statement the Queen and Prime Minister Cameron have agreed they are 'in it together'. They will jointly demonstrate that even the most powerful people in British society are going to take their share of the national burden. Followin...

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Budget airline claim Iceland are to blame for volcanic eruption!

Funny story: Budget airline claim Iceland are to blame for volcanic eruption!

Cheap and nasty airline, R++n++r, have been ordered to pay compensation to their passengers that were grounded during the Icelandic eruption of the volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, not Bjork. Airline boss, Michael O'Leprechaun (name changed for illegal...

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Sweater Sales Skyrocket As Fresh Baked Treats Go Untouched

Mothers across the United States are noticing an unsettling trend: cookie jars across the country are going undisturbed as their children find their solace in sweaters instead. Reports of this rise in cookie ignoring began in December with Floren...

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Civil War Re-enactors and Radio Shack Managers Clash at Convention Center

No one was injured yesterday when a group of Civil War re-enactors scuffled with approximately two dozen Radio Shack managers. The groups were attending separate conventions at the downtown Bradford Dillman Convention Center and began fighting while...

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162 Chances Exceeds Both Reach and Grasp of Red Sox

The Boston Red Sox have a new campaign to win back fans. They are insisting they have 162 chances to redeem themselves. Cats only have nine lives, but the Red Sox are defying the odds-makers from Las Vegas. They could win 162 games, though base...

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A List of Some License Plate Slogans For 2013

Funny story: A List of Some License Plate Slogans For 2013

The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just announced a list of ten brand new automotive license plate slogans for 2013. Winnie Leona "Tags" Tagliobissi, the commission's executive director, informed the news media that, unlike previous years, none of the submitted slogans were rejected due to either vulgarity, racism, use of foreign words, or improper grammar.

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The Super Bowl Committee Has Banned The Jenny McCarthy Commercial For Paul Bunyan Condoms

NEW YORK CITY - Hollywood celebrity Jenny McCarthy is reportedly fit to be tied after hearing that her 30 second Super Bowl commercial has been dropped from the list of Super Bowl advertisements. According to Clarice Belle Terracutler, an assistan...

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Atheism Outlawed In Arkansas

Funny story: Atheism Outlawed In Arkansas

LITTLE ROCK - In a historic move, the Arkansas state legislature has voted 34-1 to outlaw atheism within the state. Senator Stubblefield P. Bootneck, 49, of Monticello stated to Political Salad Bar Magazine that the issue was voted on to show the...

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Actress Bea Arthurs sues National Enquirer over article "Stars you thought were dead, but aren't" - Complains: "But I AM dead!"

Deceased actress Bea Arthur is suing the National Enquirer over a feature that appeared in last month's issue entitled, "Stars You Thought Were Dead But Aren't." According to Arthur's attorney, Dee Icer, the crux of the lawsuit is the fact that...

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Tennessee To Welfare Kids: Bad Grades = No Food

Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm the kind of conservative who listens to Ronald Reagan's speeches while watching Fox News at the gun range. Today's hero of freedom is Tennessee's State Congressman Stacey Campfield. Stacey is the kind of man (you read that right! Totally a dude named Stacey) who has big ideas. One of his first big ideas was that AIDS in only a gay thing.

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Introducing The Karl Valentin 'Schonsten Blodsinn' Contest

Every year since 1969 Bavaria's greatest inventors have assembled for a contest that would try their talents to the limits. It is a grueling test of imagination, innovation, creativity, genius and, well, madness. No, it is not a gathering of engineers designing next year's new BMW, it is the annual Karl Valentine Schonsten Blodsinn Wettbewerb. Schonsten Blodsinn Wettbewerb? Translated that's...

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