Ban On Cinemas, Malls And Schools Comes Into Force In Small Floridian Town

Funny story written by HaveIGotNewsForYou

Saturday, 5 January 2013

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The Only Way To Prevent Massacres In Public Places Is To Ban Public Places

A ban on schools, cinemas and malls came into force midnight Friday in the small town of Overreact in Florida in what many are calling a "brave" move, others calling it "just stupid".

Despite incurring the wrath of shoppers, movie lovers, schoolchildren, parents and store owners Mayor Gregg Alton passed the law into city ordnance late last night.

"It is ultimately for the safety of our the citizens" declared Alton "They will thank me, I am sure, in the months ahead, when their families do not fall victim to a deranged psychotic killer armed with an assault rifle who goes crazy in a public place."

Many in the town have applauded the Mayor's actions.

"If the government won't do squat then it is down to true American's like Gregg Alton to do something. He is basically saving lives" said Joshua Givens, a local gun store owner, who is not affected by the bans as he has no kids, hates Hollywood and his store is situated 2 miles from the mall.

Others are calling Alton a moron.

"Fucking moron" said Lance Franklin, as did several other residents of the small town as they shook their head in disbelief that they had no where to shop, educate their kids or watch movies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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