Teenage pregnancy plummets as Facebumping hits an all time high

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Friday, 18 January 2013


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Tallahassee, FL- Mike Shoemaker, PR director for the Florida Department of Health, reported today that teen pregnancy had dropped nearly 50% and the rate of STDs have dropped nearly 70% over the last 15 months!

The teens of Florida have turned in their condoms, birth control and morning after pills for Facebook Humping, also known as "Facebumping".

The state is not sure why or how this new craze caught on so fast but they have decided to embrace it.

"We see this as a great opportunity to put daycares out of business and help give the teachers of Florida a break, but there are some dangers to facebumping" Shoemaker said.

Recent reports have suggested that Chris Hansen and the show "To Catch a Predator" has caught several people Facebumping. Some parents are now calling state government to pass new laws restricting anyone under the age of 18 to engage in facebumping activities.

"While we are generally concerned about under-age facebumping, we cannot ignore the fact that teen pregnancy is down nearly 50%".

The DOH recommends that each parent talk to their child about facebumping and make sure they don't know anything about real sex.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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