Prison Overcrowding Solution Creates Controversy in Alabama

Funny story written by DP Whitehead

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

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Full of criminals... apparently

With prisons and jails full to bursting point the state of Alabama has come up with a novel way of releasing criminals back into society earlier than their initial sentences demanded.

While not classed as parole the idea, the brainchild of The Alabama Department of Corrections and circuit court judges across the state, came after they had been looking for answers to the prison overcrowding situation.

The idea is cheap and simple and will ensure the public's safety according to a tweet posted by Alabama governor, Dr. Robert J Bentley.

Spokeswoman for the Department of Corrections Sonia Smith explained the plan.

"We are going to release anyone convicted of mugging and street crime and make them wear a bell around their neck. The idea came from several judges who said that they put bells around their cat's necks, which warns birds that the cat is approaching and likely to pounce. We are going to put bells on collars around these muggers if they creep up on anybody they can be heard and the intended victim can be alerted and run away."

Some people are concerned that the idea is flawed.

State attorney Dave Crumb said "It is all well and good having these criminals, muggers and thieves running around with bells attached to their necks, and I agree that it is a cheap, economical and effective way of warning people that a mugger or robber is approaching, however I feel muggers will start targeting deaf people, who can't hear the bell, what about them?"

Despite the concern the first prisoners will be set free on Monday and along with a bell attached to a collar, they will also receive a weeks' worth of cat litter, a toy furry mouse and a tin of Whiskas upon release.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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