Spoof writer 'Lady Godiva' is about to reveal that one of the male Spoofers is her half brother
Lady Godiva confided in another Spoof Writer that she recently discovered a fellow spoof writer is indeed her half brother. She is wondering whether or not, at this time, to conduct a POLL on The Spoof site and let the writers have a bit o' fun wi...
Read full storyEd Milliband to receive Top Secret Vocal Training
Ed Miliband is to receive top secret vocal training from a Scottish Politician with an indefatigable nature. That Politician also happens to be a Super Agent who has been a member of the union of The superheroes for 30 years. The superheroes believe...
Read full storyGod Admits Neanderthals Were His Real Chosen People
Today God let it accidentally slip that the Neanderthals were his first and only choice to be his Chosen People. God created Neanderthals, he said, bigger, stronger, and more intelligent than humans. They were destined to create a peaceful civili...
Read full storyOprah Winfrey Drops A Bombshell: Simon Cowell and Mark Cuban Are Half Brothers
CHICAGO - After shocking her viewers by recently announcing on her television show The Oprah Winfrey Show that she had a half sister that she had no idea she had, Oprah Winfrey has once again dropped another "Family" bombshell. Ms. Winfrey announc...
Read full storyYou are never too old to learn - Susan Boyle is in training to become football official
You are never too old to learn something new. Having heard and read the news of male sports announcers ridiculing a female referee's assistant - hinting at the fact that she should learn 'the offside rule', Susan Boyle was extremely upset and decided to do something about it. "Och! A was reet mad when A heard about those chappies meckking fun o' the wee lassie. She go' the 'call' right! Who...
Read full storyFanatics overthrow SuBo's management team!
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they have overthrown her management team, and will be taking over all management responsibilities effective immediately. "Well, it is clear that we, Susan's fans, are the ones who know what is best for her. It doesn't matter to us that her team are highly respected, well experienced music industry professionals, and we're...
Read full storyListening to Luther Vandross May Cause Inflation
Scientists at the famed 'Terence Trent D'Arby Research Institute' released findings today claiming that in extreme cases, listening to soul legend Luther Vandross can cause inflation. "We kept test subjects in isolation over a two year period, pla...
Read full storyOthello - The Obama Version
OTHELLO REWRITTEN (OUR PARDONS TO SHAKESPEARE) Dramatis Personae IAGO- Advisor to Othello - played by Hillary Clinton CASSIO- Lieutenant to Othello, husband of Iago - played by Bill Clinton OTHELLO- A noble Moor leader - played by President Barack Obama DESDEMONA- Wife to Othello - played by Michelle Obama SERVANT- played by Joe Biden ACT...
Read full storyDid Emily Williams introduce Tanja Morson to Jo accused Vincent Tabak?
Bristol - (Sock-It-To-Em!): She generously allowed Tabak to lodge in her Aberdeen Road home while police probed tragic Jo Yeates' death. This week Emily Williams is still incommunicado 'somewhere in Chile' as Bristol Ram drinkers ponder who grasse...
Read full storyTen Brand New State License Plate Slogans For 2011
The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just released a list of ten states who have been granted permission to use brand new vehicle license plate slogans for 2011. States on the average change their license plate slogans about once every four years except for Arizona and Alaska. Arizona has kept their license plate slogan "Dammit - It's Hot!" for the past 27...
Read full storyGorilla proves that humans are just hairless apes!
A gorilla who resides in a UK Safari Park has proven what Charles Darwin already knew, humans are just gormless, "hairless" apes! The gorilla's name is Ambam and has proven to the world that Gorilla's and other apes are much further down the evolu...
Read full storyJo Yeates Murder Suspect: Defence Lawyer Appointed
Staunch supporters in the Netherlands have made vast financial donations toward ensuring Vincent Tabak is properly represented in court. Outrageous comedian, Jimmy Carr, who practiced law for 12 years before becoming Britain's best loved comedian...
Read full storyJustin Bieber To Guest Star On "Growing Up Kardashian"
HOLLYWOOD - It has been confirmed that teen singing sensation Justin Bieber will be appearing on the reality show Growing Up Kardashian. Bedroom Pillow Talk reported that the 16-year-old Canadian heartthrob has always had a special place in his he...
Read full storyOprah approaches Susan Boyle - offers Subo her own chat show at her new Production Company
Oprah has approached Susan Boyle to join her new production company. She has offered Susan her own chat show which will be filmed in Britain and Susan will be allowed to choose her own guests. Susan is said to be delighted at the prospect of being...
Read full storySweet manufacturer launches new confectionary in UK - The Chocolate Star Fish!
A Spanish sweet manufacturer has dropped a galactic bolock, launching a new candy bar called The Chocolate Star Fish. The advertising campaign doesn't help either having the slogan: 'Go on, give it a lick.' The phrase best known for describing one...
Read full storyHeidi Montag and Charlie Sheen Reportedly Seen Sucking Face At The La Brea Tar Pits
LA BREA - The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette is reporting that an extremely reliable source who did not mind if his name was mentioned or not alleges that he saw noted celebrities Heidi Montag and Charlie Sheen at The La Brea Tar Pits located in La B...
Read full storySarah Palin pregnant
News from the Alaskan state capita,l Fookinkold, is that Sarah Palin is pregnant and expecting in June. Sarah revealed that she became pregnant after a visit to George Bush's ranch in Texas. With the difference in temperature between the 2 states...
Read full storyJamie Oliver to release 30 second cook book
After the success of his 'Meals in 30 minutes' cookbook Jamie Oliver is to launch his new book which will show busy, working people how to get a meal on the table in 30 seconds. Section 1 involves practising ordering a pizza on the phone.."clear d...
Read full storyNew social network site launched that will be even bigger than Facebook
A new social network site that will be bigger than even the biggest of the existing biggest social network sites (possibly even bigger again than that!) has been announced today by its owner and developer, the late Mark Succkasweet. "Deadbook" ha...
Read full story"The Glee" Vs. The Kings of Leon Feud Plays On
HOLLYWOOD - The producer of the hit television show Glee, Maxwell Sweetlemon is furious with the demands put upon him by the highly popular band known as The Kings of Leon. According to The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle the band was asked to allow...
Read full storyGraverobbers' Snatch: Bruce Forsyth?
London - (Neck Row Fillier): Reports that Strictly Come Dancing compere Bruce Forsyth 'is little better than a graverobber's kneetrembler' have startled his loyal Last Tango In Paris fans. The 80-something TV show host has been reviled by Rome med...
Read full storyPalaxo-Kime announces new more accurate blood pressure cuff
Paris, France - Dr. Tod S. Quishit of the Swiss Palaxo-Kime pharmaceutical company made a stunning announcement at the annual Paris Hypertension conference yesterday. Palaxo-Kime has just published a study showing that current blood pressure cuf...
Read full storyPolar bears won't return to Himalayan glaciers global warming study warns
Annapurna - (Frozen Bear Ass): Commissioned by a UN climate change stink - er...think! - tank the report blames oil and gas drilling in the Tibetan Plateau. Last year's wildlife census found no trace of the fluffy white creatures in an area tradit...
Read full storyIs Ronaldo Jr baby-momma really dead?
Spain - (Orphan Files): Died in childbirth or 'dead to the world' - killed off by red top story spikes? The Cristiano Jr baby mystery thickened today as Ronaldo's sister slammed reports her nephew's birth mother 'is sitting pretty on a £10 million...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Dad Embarrasses His Daughter
Reporters say that Miley Cyrus' dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, was feeling pretty good at a bar over last weekend back at his family's place near Nashville and began telling some pretty wild stories about himself and his famous daughter. According to a guy...
Read full storyTiger Woods Back in Sex Therapy Classes Which Features "Too Much of a Good Thing"
Tiger Woods has openly admitted that he is back in a Sex Therapy Rehab, this time in Nevada that uses an entire different approach to helping those who are sexually addicted. "We have helped more people here to get over this addiction than all the...
Read full storyMichelle Bachmann: Americans Indians Wanted to be Slaughtered by White Man
In her response to President Obama's State of the Union speech, Tea Party leader Rep. Michelle Bachmann of Minnesota, appearing on CNN as the bride of Frankenstein, angered Native Americans when she said that "Indians at the time of the westward expa...
Read full storyThe Moon's A Light Bulb
After years of research a crack team of Scientists from Todmorden in Lancashire have finally proved what many believed. There is no such thing as The Moon, and what we see up there at night is actually a huge Energy saving Light Bulb that we rent...
Read full storyFIFA 11 to be recalled over the "Gray Affair"
Sportsea's popular soccer series, FIFA-11, is to be recalled despite having sold over three hundred million copies. Sportsea have said that there is a serious flaw with the game, and initially refused to come out and say that it is to remove Andy...
Read full storySepp Blatter Comes Out In Support of Andy Gray
FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, is the latest in a long line of prominent sports figures to show their support and solidarity for Andy Gray, the disgraced sexist Sky Sports pundit. "The whole point of televised football," said Blatter, "is that it a...
Read full storyGray and Keys offered new jobs
Soccer mad Italians are to be given a taste of British style soccer reporting and TV presentation. Andy Gray and Richard Keys have been hired by Silvio Berlusconi to front the new Mediaset soccer schedule. When asked whether the past antics of Gra...
Read full storyTerry Waite to go back to Lebanon
Terry Waite, once imprisoned and handcuffed to a radiator in Lebanon as he worked to release hostages has stated that he wants to return there. "With the UK turning back into recession, I can't see any point staying here", said Terry, "I also got...
Read full storyPhone Hacking Scandal - Met Police Net Spread Wider
As Scotland Yard launches a new probe into the phone-hacking scandal at the News of the World, agencies providing material to internationally renowned news site, TheSpoof, are falling under suspicion. Prime Minister David Cameron yesterday urged p...
Read full storySky to have a clear out of sexist staff - Andy Gray was just the first
After the Andy Gray and Richard Keys affair, the sexism row, not their homosexual fumbling in the commentary booth (which never happened), Sky has instigated a zero tolerance on sexism among their staff. In a leaked memo sent to all staff, they ar...
Read full storyIndian Government Officers Mark Assassination of Diligent Officer Sonawane by Not Working
Instead of filing their forms in triplicate in double-quick time and speeding up pending cases against criminals, decade-long requests from honest citizens, and such like, the Maharashtra Gazetted Officers Federation has called for its members to "sh...
Read full storyMyspace dies, thanks for the obit!
Funeral for a friend. - The once mighty social networking giant, Myspace, died yesterday afternoon after a long, hard-fought battle with Zuckerberginoma, a common form of web cancer caused by the Facebook virus. It was 7. Launched in the summer o...
Read full storyTodd Palin's Beautiful Alaskan Fishing Guide Finally Speaks Out About Their Relationship
WASILLA, Alaska - The Wasilla Frozen Icicle newspaper has just printed a story dealing with the relationship between Todd Palin, husband of Sarah "Snowflake" Palin and Todd's longtime fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka. Zapalicka, 28, has been descri...
Read full storyOsama bin Laden creates a super bug to rule the world
In an audio tape aired on Al Jazeera television on Monday, al Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden admitted to French President Nicolas Sarkozy of spreading pesticide resistant bed bugs in France. In a message specifically targeting France, al Qaeda chief...
Read full storyThis is my life! Not A bloody buggering Ricky Gervais comedy screams office boss Claire Fullbright
Human Relations Occasionally magazine reporters today revealed that former office supervisor Claire Fullbright has been sectioned under the 'Not Quite Playing With A Full Deck' act after she cracked up at the offices of Hammer And Tongs in Kiddermins...
Read full storyProud to be an American
An Ohio woman who is proud that her Uncle and Grandfather served in the U.S. military was sent to jail after she tried to place her beautiful daughters in a better school district with upscale people. The school district, which receive 70% percen...
Read full storyMeerkat Carpets Cause Outrage
Carpets made of Meerkats are being sold in a shop in Birmingham. The carpets are said to be of very good quality and, as Meerkats aren't a protected species, the vendors are perfectly within their rights to sell them. Meerkat wool is very luxuri...
Read full storySteve and Zoe have an argument - Steve asks Mike to swap desks - Claire uncertain about political correctness & H&S
An object lesson in how not to supervise an office surfaced yesterday when Steve and Zoe, of hardware company, Hammer And Tongs of Kidderminster announced that they'd had a domestic following a night out at Deano's Bar And Grill (Where according to T...
Read full storyNashville, Tennessee Woman Finds Human Penis in Sandwich!
Judy Dale Willoughby of the Rivergate area in Nashville has filed a suit against Pecker's Fresh Chicken in the Rivergate Mall after biting down on her chicken sandwich and pulling a "tough piece" out and finding that it was a penis. "I was never s...
Read full storyGeorge Osborne Does The Weather Forecast
Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne was defiant yesterday in the teeth of Opposition calls for an economic policy U-Turn. Britain's output fell by 0.5% in the last quarter of 2010. Expectant experts had expected a small amount of growth.
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