Sepp Blatter Comes Out In Support of Andy Gray

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 27 January 2011


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Sepp Blatter supports Andy Gray

FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, is the latest in a long line of prominent sports figures to show their support and solidarity for Andy Gray, the disgraced sexist Sky Sports pundit.

"The whole point of televised football," said Blatter, "is that it allows the ordinary man in the street, or pub or their own home, to watch soccer as if they are at the match. Andy Gray is a commentator for the people who watch football this way. And as such, he should reflect their views."

Sepp Blatter believes that Gray did not go far enough.

"He barely mentioned the way that Sian Massey looked," Blatter said. "Instead he was commentating on her qualifications as an assistant referee. There should have been more mention of her tits and arse. Maybe the odd hint that he thinks she might be a goer."

Blatter believes that commentators should be allowed to highlight what they perceive as the officials' inadequacies.

"We have got to the point in the modern game where managers, players and officials at clubs cannot waggle the furious finger of fault at referees without coming up on an FA charge."

When it was pointed out that this edict came down from FIFA, Blatter added: "And it is right that the playing and backroom staff of clubs should be sanctioned this way, which is exactly why commentators and fans are the last bastion of official belittling."

Blatter was considering putting pressure on the FA over the deal between them and the Premiership unless they reinstated Gray, until he received a large brown envelope marked "Qatar World Cup Television Coverage Bid" from Sky.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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