Human Relations Occasionally magazine reporters today revealed that former office supervisor Claire Fullbright has been sectioned under the 'Not Quite Playing With A Full Deck' act after she cracked up at the offices of Hammer And Tongs in Kidderminster and had to be 'persuaded' to get into an ambulance 'before Big Kev loses his rag and makes yer'
Which, as independent observers, seemed fair enough. To our chaps at least, because Big Kev is a big bugger you wouldn't want to mess about with.
A distraught Claire Fullbright could clearly be seen screeching from the window of a padded cell as it was announced that she'd been sentenced to death without appeal, for being an idiot, that this whole mix up comes down to an occasion when Zoe and Mike and Steve and Gina wanted to swap desks in the office.
For personal reasons.
Claire has since admitted that there remains a debatable possibility that she may have inadvertently been responsible for the ensuing human confusion - but, with her wits sharply about her, she claimed that she couldn't possibly have made an error of judgement because there was no set rule book, and using an imaginary mathematical formula - she was innocent.
Which is all well and good, in some ways, but then she can't explain why Gina and Zoe suddenly opted to become lesbian lovers, why Charles still suffers chronically from OCD, why Mike is currently 'seeing' Geraldine from accounts, why Steve really doesn't give a shit any more, or why Wally is still porking the next door neighbour and the loose drawered hoe from the pub.
Her excuse is that there wasn't a rule book covering such a scenario. Thus she was rendered helpless in an unregulated world.
Most independent observers believe she should be killed to death in the electric chair until her eyeballs explode and her skin takes on the aroma of freshly frying sausages.
Ted Bundy was unavailable for comment - which is probably just as well - he was always full of shit anyway.
