Fury at British "Virgin Auction" Reality TV Show
A new TV Reality Craze is set to madden the nation's telly addicts, writes Phil E Buster for The Daily Guttersnipe. First it was Big Brother, the blockbuster phenomenon that captivated TV audiences worldwide. Viewers were alternately thrilled, bor...
Read full storySierra Club Wants to Ban In Ground Burials
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- The Sierra Club, reputedly America's oldest, largest, and most influential grassroots environmental organization has begun a major campaign today to lobby Congress to ban traditional in ground burials. Their presser states tha...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Senior "so proud of grandson David Cameron, PM"
Kennebunkport - (Tossers): The son of Pope Piux XII and the Queen Mother has sent a telegram to his grandson who has just blagged his way into becoming Prime Monster of the UK. George Bush Senior congratulated Tory tosspot David Cameron whose fath...
Read full storyA 7.4 Earthquake Hits Indonesia and Amazingly Settles Down The Volcano in Iceland
JAKARTA - A powerful 7.4 earthquake has hit the Northern Sumatra area of Indonesian causing some damage to buildings, homes, some fast food restaurants, a huge piñata factory, and 14 whorehouses. Hung Fufi Maliwan, III, a part-time meteorologist w...
Read full storyGerman Authorities Are Considering Filing Indecent Exposure Charges Against Claudia Schiffer
BERLIN - Members of The German Federation For Human Decency are seriously considering bringing charges of indecent exposure against German model Claudia Schiffer. Schiffer appears on the cover of the German edition of Vgue Magazine and all she is...
Read full storyCameron and Osborne Missing
Money markets around the world were rocked this morning after newly crowned Prime Minister David Cameron and his Chancellor, George Osborne, were revealed to be missing. They were last seen just after the outgoing Chancellor and former comedian, S...
Read full storyGrimacing Mice Offer Insights into Human Behavior
Humans are not the only animals to grimace when they are in pain, scientists have found. Mice show their discomfort in much the same way. Studies show that the facial expressions of mice can indicate responses to pain we cannot see, so twisted res...
Read full storySarah Palin hires a winkologist!
I was intrigued by the story of Palin's greased lightning rise from political obscurity, to the top rung of American politics during the run up to the last presidential election. "From out of nowhere" is more often than not an ill suited, exaggerated PR description of some politician's desire to be percieved as being represenitive of John Q. Public. Spinmeisters boldly, and falsley assert...
Read full storySusan Boyle's First Interview with The Spoof's Lady Godiva including her brothers' recent interference in her life
Today Susan Boyle sat down for a cozy, low-key interview with me. It was a pleasant time spent chatting over tea and cream cakes. Here are the highlights of the interview. First we started by talking about the latest issue, her brothers' interference with her career. Susan: Och, A am fair mad at the pair o' lummoxes. They bossed me about when I was wee. That's when they weren't ignorin...
Read full storyObama Administration to Pay Children Not to Eat Desert
WASHINGTON, DC - Economic incentives to provide inexpensive healthy food and better educational performance of 70 immediate steps that can reduce U.S. childhood obesity and provide better grades, a White House task force recommended in a report on Tu...
Read full storyDavid 'Del Boy' Cameron and Rodders to run UK
Its official 'Del Boy' also known as David Cameron and his side kick Rodney Nick Clegg are set to run the UK, with Del Boy declaring himself as prime minister. Del Boy was heard screaming down the corridors of the House of commons 'Rodney you plon...
Read full storyBetty White Kicks Butt on SNL, Opens Door for Older Guests
Getting praise from critics and helping Saturday Night Live achieve a ratings surge has put comedienne-actress Betty White, 88, in the spotlight. It's not only her, but many other eighty-somethings as well. Television executives, waking up to t...
Read full storyTiger (Woods) & Mate To Split Cubs?
The latest news on the net this morning claims that Tiger Woods and wife, Elin, are getting a divorce but will share custody of the kids. Tiger, who dropped out of the Mother's Day weekend golf tournament over injuring his back (or was too far beh...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Bankrupts His Home in Dallas
Reports are cascading in today, via the newswires, that George W. Bush has reputedly continued unabated in his perpetual free fall upward. A multitude of news outlets have apparently reported that Bush's wife Laura, told a local news publication,...
Read full storyTiger Depressed: Still Needs 19,879 Ho's To Surpass Wilt's Record
With Tiger Woods admitting to having sex with 121 women, it is not surprising that he is depressed and has virtually given up in his quest to surpass the Big Dipper as professional sport's most prolific womanizer. In his 1991 biography, A View Fro...
Read full storyGreat news for being a "Nutter": it lowers cholesterol levels!
Spoof "Nutters" (readers and writers) have welcomed the news that their "nutty" habits are actually contributing to their health! In fact being a "Nutter" supposedly reduces cholesterol levels in the blood. Spoof expert,and very cracked NUT, Ja...
Read full storyLong Standing Writers Union Member Logs 300th Story
A dedicated member of the Union for Plagiarists, Ingrates, Numskulls, Commies, Hacks and Heretics; Equal Authors by Proxy, has logged his 300th story amid cheers from his own imaginary fan club. Cranking out his last few stories in order to make t...
Read full storySpoof Writers Unite under New Union
Fighting for their rights to publish barely credible news reports, based on disreputable sources and shady facts, satire writers from TheSpoof.com have agreed in principle to unionize. The Union for Plagiarists, Ingrates, Numskulls, Commies, Hacks...
Read full storyFormer Detroit Mayor Pleads Temporary Recurring Insanity
Back in front of the court for reportedly breaking the terms of his probation and for avoidance of paying restitution back to the City as part of his previous plea deal, Kwame Kilpatrick has pled temporary but recurring insanity as a defense against...
Read full storyMIT Professor Releases New Theory on the Angle of the Dangle
Spatial Mathematics professor, Dr. Haywood Jablome, released his new theory on the Angle of the Dangle, and the dangle's proximity to the line of entry needed for intersection with a black hole, or any other color hole for that matter. After years...
Read full storySusan Boyle is to give lessons to out of tune Imans and Muezzins in Istanbul!
The horrendous morning squealing and screaming of out of tune Imans and Muezzins driving Turks insane in Istanbul whilst hoping to lure punters into the local mosques is over. The Turkish parliament and its religious leaders have decided to stop t...
Read full storyTila Tequila's Song "Get Me Off" Has Been Voted The Most Vulgar Song In Music History
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Tila Tequila has bounced back onto the newspaper headlines after being absent for about a month or so. One of the most reputable music magazines in the world Pitchy Bitchy Magazine has just named Tequila's latest song "Get Me Off"...
Read full storyVertically Stacking Mobile Homes May Deter Tornado Damage
KANSAS CITY, KS -- It's the largest-ever study of tornadoes. More than 100 researchers involved with the VORTEX2 (Verification of the Origins of Rotation in Tornadoes Experiment 2) project will deploy a flotilla of instruments across the Great Plains...
Read full storyCameron Is New PM - Clegg Rewarded With New Dress
Following a 'Pretty Woman' style agreement between the Conservatives and the Lib-Dems, David Cameron will shortly be taking the reins in Downing Street. It's the understanding of Skoob News that Gordon Brown's formal resignation is imminent with C...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Still Alive, Pretending To Be Dave Cameron
Michael Jackson is sensationally still alive. We can reveal that he is pretending to be his old friend 'Dave' Cameron. Observers have noted Cameron's rather high pitched vocal delivery and the fact that he is being followed around by a monkey called...
Read full storyDEA pips NASA to discover dark matter: It's mostly Heroin
Anonymous DEA agent and his trusty dog Milo have found dark matter. "This God person or the Klingons and Romulans that are supposed to be out there in the Universe, they've got to be hiding their stash somewhere. And you know they're not going to cal...
Read full storyGordon Brown quits politics takes on voluntary role with TheSpoof.com
It is reported that Gordon Brown, our brilliant Prime Minister and Chancellor of the Exchequer is to leave politics and concentrate his undoubted talents in voluntary work. A spokesman for our Glorious Leader has announced that Mr Brown, soon to b...
Read full storyNational Socialists To Form Government In Reichstag
The National Socialists are expected to form a Government in the Reichstag over the next few days. Adolf Cameron has succeeded in his negotiations with the more moderate Nick Von Luddendorf, who has been offered an honorary position in the Government...
Read full storyMr. Arthur Giblet of Berwick Hills, speaks about the latest hung Parliament saga
Mr. Arthur Giblet, of Berwick Hills, N.E. England was interviewed this morning about his concerns regarding the latest Parliamentary News regarding a hung Parliament saga. " 'Ung are they? Well it's about bloody time," he started out. When the h...
Read full storyUK Weather Office Develops New Forecasting Tools
In a press release issued today, the Weather Office announced that it is planning to provide additional weather data for it's £33 million supercomputer, known affectionately as "Deep Depression". The Weather Office provides both weather and clim...
Read full storyHeather Mills In Catfight With Critic!
Heather Mills turned several heads as she squeezed into an extremely short and extremely tight playsuit, complete with thigh-high legging-style boots, Sunday evening. The former wife of Sir Paul McCartney was criticized for overdoing it at StreetD...
Read full storyNHS Leadership Questionnaire
Thank you, member of NHS staff, for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. Please fill it in anonymously and return it in the envelope provided. 1. You are working on a busy ward, full of elderly patients. One of the patients is in extreme discomfort and wants urgent assistance. You are busy helping another patient. Do you: a) drop whatever you are doing and rush to help b) tell...
Read full storySir Alan Sugarbabe releases new album
London based rapper Sir Alan Sugarbabe is releasing an album of Cockney Classics. The eagerly-awaited new album, which is entitled: "Roll Out The Barrowboys" also features former Spurs and England football manager Hairy Tennisballs performing the...
Read full storyPope Seeks Final Solution In Bid To Purify Church
Pope Benedict XVI has announced plans for a final solution in his bid to purify the Church. In a radical move, the Pope plans to gas all members of the clergy who are found guilty of being paedophiles. "Zis ist der final solution, ja? But it worke...
Read full storySouth African Rubber Producers Brace Themselves For English Invasion
South African rubber producers are said to be "shit scared" of the impending arrival of the England World Cup Squad. Spokesman Thabo M'Johnnie said "We just don't know if we will be able to keep up with the demand. John Terry and Ashley Cole on the l...
Read full storyRaymond Hightower, Experiences Millionaire Heiress
CLEVELAND - An African American man tasted freedom for the first time in nearly 30 years on Wednesday after a judge vacated his conviction because DNA evidence showed he did not steal a glazed donut that belonged to a millionaire heiress. "It fina...
Read full storyOklahoma Tornado Replaces Family Home
NORMAN, OK -- At least five people have died and around 50 injured eight of them seriously, as a result of a series tornadoes that devastated several areas of the U.S. state of Oklahoma, according to local authorities. The tornado destroyed a large n...
Read full storyIMF CEO Dominique Strauss-Kahn to be next UK prime minister
London - (Bankrupt Mess): With Treasury coffers groaning under a mountain of Labour IOUs the International Monetary Fund official is widely predicted to take over the running of the UK from next Monday. Five days of machiavellian whorsetrading bew...
Read full storyNew Labour Leader Appointed
In a surprise move, the Labour Party today unveiled Lord Heehaw as its new leader. According to political commentators, this is the first time for at least two hours that the Labour Party has been headed by an ass. Lord Heehaw, who stood in the...
Read full storyBuffet Table Manufacturer Files Chapter 11
The Gourmet Buffet Table Company filed for bankruptcy this week after mistakenly shipping prop wrestling tables out to home centers across the U.S. Normally setting up production lines for home table construction, GBT's folding tables had been kno...
Read full storyVideo Game Features Fantasy Mayoral Race for Amsterdam
Using current and past world leaders as characters in a new fantasy game about politics and tactics in a city election, PlaySoft Game Systems has created a near real world set of social and political scenarios while gamers vie for control of the grea...
Read full storyNew Full Figured Bra Lifts Separates and Invigorates
Full figured women share a common complaint when it comes to the support of larger than average breasts, but a new patented bra design will provide much needed back support and pain relief along with enhanced cup support for women from DD to H in siz...
Read full storyTire Company Dominates Sports Shoe Market
Following several ergonomic studies related to the performance of the human foot in various footwear configurations, scientists at one U.S. tire company have developed a zero padding shoe style based on their award winning tire tread design. Nickn...
Read full storyJapanese Cars Beat Germany for Best Overall Acceleration
Clearly winning an independent performance comparison sponsored by Automotive Quarterly Magazine, Japanese engineered cars outperformed their German counterparts in all but the super-premium automotive classes. The study by AQM, took cars from the...
Read full storyKosher SPAM Hottest Seller at New York Deli
Breaking a long standing tradition of pork and pork product avoidance by the Jewish community, a Kosher version of SPAM recently available at several New York Deli's has become the most popular seller, jumping ahead of Pastrami in recent weeks. "I...
Read full storyAnimal Rights Chairwoman Caught with Leather Purse
Questioned on the streets outside New York's most prestigious furrier following a recent blood smearing campaign for patrons considering a fur purchase, animal rights group chairwoman, Ivana Birgerphatt, was reportedly seen carrying a leather clutch...
Read full storyNew Orleans Vinaigrette Company Out of Business
Formerly famous for their lightly Cajun spiced vinaigrette salad dressing, "French Quarter Foods" has decided to close its doors of operation after 25 years of producing quality Cajun sauces. Overwhelmed with calls from customers who were concer...
Read full storyBritish Darts Champion to Open Acupuncture Clinic
2009 World Dart Champion, Dudley Wang, has announced the planned opening of a new-age acupuncture clinic in London's North-End, this late summer. A product of both proper British breeding as well as Eastern science and philosophy, Dudley Wang is t...
Read full storyBritish Public Tired Of Waiting, Form Their Own Government
The British Public have decided to form their own Government, following the protracted discussions of the 'professional' politicians. Mrs Eileen Morris of number 17 Salcombe Avenue decided to pop round to see the Queen earlier today. "I said 'Yoo...
Read full storyBagram air base officials say the real 'secret prison' lies under 10 Downing Street
Afghanistan - (Tory Bora): Stung by Red Cross accusations about a 'prison within a prison' at Bagram air base Pentagon officials have said the 'real hidden jail' lies under 10 Downing Street, the UK seat of power. Earlier today former inmates of t...
Read full storyDerek Acorah accidentally becomes god
The already legendary psychic, Derek Acorah, has moved one step up the paranormal ladder with his sudden, and unexpected deification. Acorah, who has really been speaking to dead people since the age of five, accidentally became a god yesterday, m...
Read full storyUK astronaut Tom Peake has first weightless f***; weightless encounters put the O back in zero-g
UK's astronaut candidate (stop laughing!) Tom Peake has made a giant leap in his training; though not 'for mankind' in general, more for himself. And he can't wait to get back in the saddle. The Briton was last seen by BBC cameras floating free af...
Read full storyCash strapped BBC to scale back programmes
The BBC has suffered as much as any other business over the past couple of years. Programmes such as Doctor Who have sucked up most of the budget, meaning that the BBC are looking for cheaper programmes to fill the schedules. "We've noticed that c...
Read full storyWeeping Queen of Heaven crop circle appears ahead of Fatima anniversary
Salisbury - (Sacred Geometry): A Leonardo Davinci-style weeping Queen of Heaven crop circle has just materialised in an oil seed rape field near Stonehenge. Its appearance comes two days ahead of the 13 May anniversary of the first Fatima appariti...
Read full storyOklahoma hit by deadly tornadoes, improving aesthetic appearance of Oklahoma and median state I.Q; Native Americans call for immigration reform
At least five hundred people have been killed in tornadoes that tore through parts of the US state of Oklahoma, officials say, dramatically improving the state's overall appearance and potentially raising its median I.Q. The storms forced road clo...
Read full storyTory MP Conor Burns To Join Labour
Conor Burns, recently elected Conservative MP for Bournemouth West, has stunned local party activists by resigning the party whip and crossing the floor. Burns has joined the Labour Party. The new MP said "I am doing this purely out of self-intere...
Read full storyTakwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet newest fans of Susan Boyle
Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both from Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, are Susan Boyle's newest fans. The pair had not heard of Ms. Boyle until they met her at a Town Hall meeting in Middlesbrough when Ms. Boyle was speaking to the public abou...
Read full story100 Year Old Mistake Found In Dictionary
The world of lexicography was left stunned, shocked and dumbfounded last night as a mistake that had long gone unnoticed in the Oxford English Dictionary was uncovered. The phrase 'smart arse' first appeared in the dictionary 100 years ago. Since...
Read full storyMilliband Favourite To Join Girls Aloud
David Milliband has emerged as a favourite to join the new Girls Aloud line up, following the news that several members of the original band are to resign. Milliband has impressed with his talented footwork and his vocal capabilities and he is exp...
Read full storyObama revives Russia-US nuclear arms race; "we really missed the Cold War" say senior Pentagon officials; in an unrelated tech glitch - Tehran disapppears from Global Positioning Satellites
US President Barack Obama has revived the nuclear arms race with Moscow, which was shelved in the wake of the Cold War and subsequent saccharine peacenik PR, such as taking down the Berlin Wall amid spontaneious worldwide celebrations and then hawkin...
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