Tiger Depressed: Still Needs 19,879 Ho's To Surpass Wilt's Record

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

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Can't we just try one more time?

With Tiger Woods admitting to having sex with 121 women, it is not surprising that he is depressed and has virtually given up in his quest to surpass the Big Dipper as professional sport's most prolific womanizer.

In his 1991 biography, A View From Above, Wilt Chamberlain wrote that he had had sex with approximately 20,000 women.

"At my age," he wrote, "that equals out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was fifteen years old."

Chamberlain's claims ignited a wave of public criticism (and skepticism), to which he responded, "I don't see all this lovemaking as any kind of conquest; all I'm saying is that I like women, people are curious about my sex life, and to most people the number of women who have come and gone through my bedrooms (and various hotel rooms around the country) would boggle the mind."

Tiger is also just four major wins from tying Jack Nicklaus' record of 18. Until his recent scandal and subsequent neck injury, he seemed a mortal lock to take golf's top spot. It would appear that his chances of overtaking Nicklaus are much more realistic than passing the Big Dipper.

It will be interesting to see him tee it up again on both fronts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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