BP Formulates New Green Business Plan
This afternoon, BP CEO Tony Hayward announced a totally new green business plan for his beleaguered corporate leviathan. Displaying a plate of their new product, high octane shrimp, Hayward told the hastily assembled gathering of sailing enthusia...
Read full storyEU Bans Selling Eggs by the Dozen
UK consumers are no longer allowed to buy eggs by the dozen under new laws implemented by the EU. Eggs, fruit, bread, rolls donuts, crumpets and other products must be sold by weight instead of by number. England has been exempt from this confusing...
Read full storyStephen Hawkings Appointed New England Manager and Names Chimpanzee as Assistant
It's the dream team England fans have been waiting for - everone's favourite Dalek Stephen Hawking is teaming up with a chimpanzee to take over the reigns of the England squad with immediate effect. While the England squad make their way back to t...
Read full storySimple Blood Test May Predict Menopause and Male Misery
Researchers at the William Jefferson Clinton Hot Sex Clinic at the University of Wasilla, measured a minute hormone secretion (AMH) in (666) attractive women, ranging in age from 15 to 46. (AMH) or anti-mullerian hormone has previously been identifie...
Read full storyEngland and Germany to Replay 2nd half in World Cup
In an unexpected move, the 2nd half of the England v Germany game has been declared void. In a statement, football president Fred Blather declared: 'The evidence that the goal attempt by Lampard, not recognised by the Referee or his Assistant, was...
Read full storyEngland Team return from South Africa
A disgraced England team, began the long trek home from South Africa, in a rowing boat. Asked why the long faces, Jermaine Defoe said; "We've only got one oar" A spokesperson for Fabio Capone said; "Fuck em, If I had my way, they would be swimming...
Read full storyGermans Use Mind Control over England to Win Cup Game
Fans are still scratching their heads at the beating England took from Germany. Those watching said there definitely was something strange going on and wondering if the rumors about the German team using mind control are actually true. England's p...
Read full storyHoward Stern Backs Evil Pornographer
Howard Stern, controversial personality / shock jock and self proclaimed, "King Of All Media" has announced he will be protesting to the entire world about the indictments handed down against Pornographer John Stagliano, Owner of Evil Angel Productio...
Read full storyTakwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones-both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, England - upset at England's loss to Germany at World Cup in S.A.
Takwana and Anitakapita are in bits over England's loss to Germany today. "A just can' believe i'," began Takwana, fighting back tears, "I was cheerin' like a crazy person A was, an' fer wo' A ask yers? Bloody idio's couldn' even run as fast as them young German lads. Bloody geriatrics the lorra them on the English team. Should be drawing their pensions. Our lad's gonna me ded mad w'en '...
Read full storyThere's A Lot Of It About
Speaking from his hammock in outer Mongolia, Skoob gave his verdict; "There was some of it here a while ago, I imagine it was there, and then wasn't, which is why it has gone, and is not here now. Although, some say there is a lot of it about over th...
Read full storySteve Jobs Tweets That an iPhone 4 Recall is Likely!
Saturday night, Steve Jobs, the man solely responsible for the decline and fall of the American Conumerism Empire twittered out that a possible iPhone 4 recall is likely. Jobs message read: "We may have to recall the new iPhone. This I did not ex...
Read full storyJobs tries to Call iPhone Users To Explain Reception Issues, But His Calls Kept Going Right To Voicemail
The new iPhone 4 just released this week has had numerous complaints from customers about the poor reception the phone has, and some hardware problems, including a lefthanded person's inability to use it, the fact that if held by its metal edges ther...
Read full storyEngland - The Inquest - A Comedy Of Errors
The knives are out. England expects that every man shall do his duty. Once more unto the breach dear friends. Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious by the summer sun of 1966. England v Germany. Not simply defeated. Humiliated. Made...
Read full storyLesbians & Gay Men Confess
The Government Equality Think Tank, announced today, that after spending 500 million pounds of public money, and questioning thousands of people over a one month period, they have discovered that Gay men are Gay, and Lesbian Women are, Lesbian. Er...
Read full storyBrussels Sprouts 175 Pages of New Edicts On Food Labeling to Cost UK "Millions!"
The European Parliament is at it again, coming up with yet more insanely asinine directives to complicate the everyday lives of people living under their mandate, and this time they demand the UK follow suite! Squirreled away somewhere in a dank o...
Read full storyWind power hailed as the "empty promise of the future"
Scientists are excited about the strong possibility that wind power will be the next big failure in the list of alternative energy sources. "We've had quite a few duds" said Professor Heinz Bitstein of the Berkeley College of Accountanc...
Read full storyJohn Terry Revealed As German Sleeper Agent "I'm Gonna Win For Ze Fatherland"
The penny finally drops. We've known for a while that John Terry's recent erratic behaviour was perhaps part of a larger plan but only now can we truly appreciate the gravity of the situation. He's repeatedly mounted his team mate Wayne Bridge's...
Read full storyAussie Men Wank To Pamela Anderson In Australia's Dancing With The Stars
What a dumb blondie bomb shell. Pamela Anderson has been paid to appear on the Australian version of "Dancing With The Stars". Though, some say with Anderson on the show it would be more appropriate to rename the show "Dancing With A Porn Star".
Read full storyTourist Adding Crack To The Red Rock At Uluru
Traditional Owners and lookers were shocked at the site of raw flesh on top of one of Australia's landmarks, Uluru. While stripping naked a friend filmed the bizzar event as a 25 year old French woman decided she wanted to celebrate her climbing t...
Read full storyThe Word Vuvuzela Has Just Surpassed The Word Vagina As The Most Used Word In The English Speaking World
INDIANAPOLIS - Language expert Dr. Wilfred F. Chicory has just informed the linguistic media that recent surveys on the spoken and written word have shown that the South African word vuvuzela has just surpassed the extremely popular word vagina in us...
Read full storyLocal Writer Botches Miley Cyrus Vagina Story Costing TheSpoof! Gobs of Valuable Readers
TheSpoof! -- In a development rarely seen on the pages of TheSpoof!, a well respected and beloved writer completely bombs his first attempt at a simple vagina story, and hasn't been heard from since. "My God," Spoof! fellow writer, funwithwords [f...
Read full storyWhite iPhone 4 Spotted in UK Apple Store!
Technonerds are blogging like mad about the fact that a white Apple iPhone 4 was spotted in a Cental London Apple store, weeks before the color option will be made available to the public. Interestingly, while people were offering double the reta...
Read full storyKorea Out Of World Cup For Second Time In Seven Days!
Getting 'knocked out of the Cup' is a sobering experience for any football team, but spare a thought for the plucky minnows of world football, Korea, who, last night, became the first country in history to be knocked out of the World Cup twice in sev...
Read full storyMark Lowton Orders Writers to Grow Beards
Satiric leader Mark Lowton has ordered writers for TheSpoof.com this week to grow their beards and trim their moustaches. "Anyone found violating this law will face the consequences," Denny Dooster a Lowton functionary said, announcing the edict.
Read full storyFoxxy 5 Singer, Reality Star Foxxy Love Dead at 29
Foxxy Love, the woman who earned national fame as part of the syndicated reality show "Drawn Together" was found dead in her home this morning, say police. Foxxy was 29. Love's career began as the lead singer and founding member of Crap-pop...
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