Written by Lady Godiva

Sunday, 27 June 2010

image for Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones-both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, England - upset at England's loss to Germany at World Cup in S.A.
England loses to Germany - World Cup 2010

Takwana and Anitakapita are in bits over England's loss to Germany today.

"A just can' believe i'," began Takwana, fighting back tears, "I was cheerin' like a crazy person A was, an' fer wo' A ask yers? Bloody idio's couldn' even run as fast as them young German lads. Bloody geriatrics the lorra them on the English team. Should be drawing their pensions.

Our lad's gonna me ded mad w'en 'e sobers up. 'E missed the 'ole match 'e did. Tha's coz 'e started celebra'n at 9 o'clock this mornin' with Anitakapita's ol' fella.

The two dozy buggers drank too much Red Bull 'n' vodka fer brekkie. Serves 'em both righ' ."

Anitakapita added,

"Yeah! Pair o' footie fans they calls themsel's. Oo are they kiddn' like? Bloody boozin' buddies. Beer fans more like it' tho' they didn' drink much beer this mornin' jus' Red Bull and voddie like.

The pair o' 'em'll most probly blame me and Takwana fer missing the match like. Bu' we did try to weck 'em up didn' we Takwana? Ded t'th' werld the per o' 'em".

Takwana promised to contact The Spoof with Randy's "take on England's performance, or lack of, in this year's World Cup", when he comes out of his alcoholic stupour.

We can't wait! HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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