Wind power hailed as the "empty promise of the future"

Funny story written by Jeff Brone

Sunday, 27 June 2010

image for Wind power hailed as the "empty promise of the future"

Scientists are excited about the strong possibility that wind power will be the next big failure in the list of alternative energy sources.

"We've had quite a few duds" said Professor Heinz Bitstein of the Berkeley College of Accountancy. "First there was ethanol, then solar power, then those potatoes soaking in salt water with those electrode things stuck in them, but wind power is the one we're really pinning our hopes on."

He also added that "this one has the right mix of impracticalness and unreliability to be a complete and utter disappointment. We can barely wait!"

Bitstein himself has done research on harnessing energy from clouds, stars and good vibes from world music concerts.

He explained that at first it was thought that wind power wasn't embraced by energy companies because they were simply evil and wanted to destroy the environment, or they were just too stupid to understand how great it was.

When we finally realized that, as he put it, the idea "just couldn't work" the whole thing fell into place.

Still, he cautioned that wind power might have some limited use for specific applications in areas that experience a lot of wind, and this could be a problem. But he was hoping that we all could be counted on to screw that up too, like so many other things.

"I'm betting we can! If the federal government is looking into it, that's proof enough for me!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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