My First Hand Experiences With The Prophet Mohammed, (Passed Down Through The Ages)
Holy Prophet Muhammed once smiled often and then would light a fart and roar with the wind just so the people could be happy and they would be happy ..or else. Mohammed Ali, on the other hand, would deliver a shot to the head and then three quick...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden is having financial difficulties
New York - Osama Bin Laden is on a low budget because of difficulties obtaining a loan for his terrorist activities. It is being reported that he has been reduced to hiring winos living in Central Park to spread rabies in the raccoon population.
Read full storyX-Factory, The Trio Comprised of Danyl Johnson, Olly Murs, and Lloyd Daniels Offer To Perform At The Super Bowl
BIRMINGHAM, England - The popular British singing trio X-Factory has informed the NFL Super Bowl Half Time Entertainment Committee that they would be willing to perform during the half time show if The Who are banned from appearing. The popular tr...
Read full storyCalifornia Pot Growers Threaten Federal Goverment's Afghanistan Bananastand Pot Plan
Just as the U.S. Government moves to divert Afghan poppy farmers from fueling the world cocaine supply by paying them to grow marijuana instead, a desperate cash strapped California has launched a pot growing and smoking phenomena of its own. A N...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Wins "Be Cheryl For A Day" Contest
In the world's most amazing coincidence part six, the winner of the 'Be Cheryl Cole For A Day' competition, run by online file-sharing site www.exclusivenudiepics.web turned out to be...Cheryl Cole. Lucky Cheryl Cole will get the chance to sleep i...
Read full storyCheech and Chong's Pot Superstore Opens to Throngs in Oakland, California; "Shwartzenegger Sees the Tax Light go Green"
Taking the Amsterdam notion to new highs, Cheech and Chong's New Pot Superstore opened to throngs of tokers and smokers today in California. The Oakland based Superstore sports over 15,000 square feet of fresh pot, hashish and a variety of hash oils...
Read full storyFace Sitting League Round-Up
The battle for UA-FS-A Champions League places continues to hot up at the Face Sitting League summit after Liverpool and ARSE-ON Villa both won but Tottenham had to settle for a single seat, while at the 'opposite end' of the table the basement dwell...
Read full storyTiger Was Too Hot To Handle Says Top Dominatrix
Sex-addict ex-golfer Tiger Woods, 45, wore me out, a leather-clad BDSM Mistress asserted yesterday. Mistress Payne, 35, of exclusive San Fransisco S&M Dungeon Hades - a popular source of therapy for nympho celebrities such as Bible-Basher Bill...
Read full storyThumped 3-1 In 3D
In the world's first ever live 3D sports broadcast, Manchester United thumped the Arse 3-1 at the Emirates, and ironically, Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger didn't see it because his 3D specs were all steamed up. Among some of the things Wenger missed w...
Read full storyPolice ban truncheon over "dildo" complaints.
The Son Newspaper learned today that police forces around the UK are to ban the old truncheon after receiving complaints they have been used as "dildo's". According to a secret memo the Chief Constable of Murkeyside Constabulary has banned the use...
Read full storyObama Meets With Congressional Republicans. Their Response: "Duh?"
President Barack Obama met with Congressional Republicans on Friday in what was described as a "give and take" session. The Republicans to their regret, agreed to have the session televised. Plans were to "show case" the disagreements with Obama and...
Read full storyKatie Couric Cracking Under Pressure? Says Clone Follows Her Everywhere
"I think I'm losing my mind!, stated a very upset Katie Couric to her staff Friday, one of whom passed us a bit of a treat, for a favor once done for him. Katie Couric of CBS News isn't one to get spooked easily but even her nerves are about to s...
Read full storyAndy Murray - Grand Slam Defeat A Conspiracy
Whilst many neutral observers are of the opinion that Roger Federer is quite simply a better tennis player than Scotland's very own Andy Murray, there remains a simmering resentment among die-hard Murray fans who remain convinced that their man was t...
Read full storyA Day In Capitalist Los Angeles
This week I had the rather dubious pleasure of visiting capitalist Los Angeles, a western town that exists for no known reason. It hasn't changed its name from its Spanish one as Americans can't spell properly, so thought it would be easier to keep the name the same. And then one day the capitalists in that uninteresting city decided to continue oppressing the poor and letting them buy machine-gun...
Read full storyJohn Terry To Be Stripped Of Darts Team Captaincy
It's been a terrible weekend for Chelsea and England captain John Terry as a cloud hovers over his suitability to lead the England team into the World Cup Finals in South Africa following widespread publication of an alleged affair with ex-teammate W...
Read full storyMoorview Wing Opened In Rehab Clinic
World renowned rehab clinic, The Priority, deep in the heart of rural Hertfordshire today opened the doors of its new wing, The Moorview Wing, named in honour of a collaborative story in the Magazine Section of popular satirical website TheSpoof.com...
Read full storyLocal Hairdresser Claims he's Slept with more Women than Warren Beatty
Local hairdresser, Dave Grimes - more commonly known as 'Pompidor de LaChemise' - has claimed that he is even more of a man whore than Hollywood Casanova Warren Beatty. In a new book by Peter Biskind - a man who once had a career - Beatty is said...
Read full storyUgly Betty's Beautiful Body In Final Episode!
Ugly Betty star America Ferrera, is rumored to show that the body of Ugly Betty ain't ugly a tall! The rumor going around television land that there is going to be a big surprise in the final episode as the show goes off the air this year. "Ugl...
Read full storyNew Orleans Mayor Sues Corp of Engineers Over "Leaking Dykes" and Loss Off Super Bowl Venue!
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin called out the Obama administration and the Army Corps of Engineers as the reason New Orleans lost the venue for this year's Super Bowl Game to Miami. "It's outrageous, " said the suddenly wealthy, prosperous, multi-mil...
Read full storyDidier Drogba's wife gives birth to a white baby!
Doctor's at the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital were astounded late last night when Alla, the wife of Didier Drogba, gave birth to a white baby boy! Drogba, the Ivory Coast and Chelsea striker, was absolutely overjoyed with the new arrival and...
Read full storyShakespeare proves winning $17 million on the lottery is "much ado about nothing" he's dead!
US lottery winner, Shakespeare (no, not him of Staffordshire) has proven once again, money aint everything. Mr.Shakespeare (not the Baird) won $17 million and was never happy, in fact he was down right miserable. All the fortune ever did for hi...
Read full storyTiger Woods, John Edwards & Gary Glitter Form New Male Consultancy Firm: SEXMasters, LLC
The new firm, SEXMasters, LLC with Senator John Edwards leading the way, will specialize in providing familial shuck and jive lines, stealth travel and communication technologies as well as DNA Denial Defenses to married men, committed sports figures...
Read full storyNew Life From Old, or Dora's Tale
It all started about a year ago. Dora Black, TV's famous Dora the Explorer admitted she was indeed in a relationship with Diego Sanchez, who plays her cousin on TV's Go Diego Go and guests spots on Dora's show. Most people did not know that Dora and Diego are 19 and 18, respectively, and not actually related, and their relationship was, at first, condemned and they were shunned because of it.
Read full story"Common Anti-Blair Ground for Christians and Muslim Extremists" say Readers
We asked for your reactions to Tony Blair's performance at the Chilcot Enquiry, and our post bag was full to bursting! 'That Tony Blair makes me sick', writes Wayne Selfe of Bagshotte. 'How he has the cheek to sit there and lie his way out of trouble I don't know. What's the point of this enquiry? Anybody knows Blair and Bush sent millions to their deaths so they could become famous. It's so ob...
Read full storyAlex Reid Wins Celebrity Big Brother - Katie Price Buys Him A 16th Century Castle
LONDON - Cage-fighter Alex Reid emerged victorious in this years edition of Celebrity Big Brother. The 34-year-old Reid upon being announced as the winner quickly proclaimed that Katie Price is not only the love of his life, and the woman of his d...
Read full storyThe Mackenzie Phillips Movie To Star Angelina Jolie and Her Father Jon Voight
HOLLYWOOD - Mackenzie Phillips who wrote quite a tell all book about her relationship with her father, John Phillips of the 60s icon band The Mamas and The Papas, has just stated that Sand Castle Pictures has purchased the motion picture rights. P...
Read full storyAl Queda Claims Responsibility for 10,000 Gall Bladder Removals in U.S.
Yonkers, NY - A new video tape released to Al Jazeera and Al Franken, appears to be an authentic video created for Osama Bin Laden to prove his definitely, maybe still alive. Content of the tape was unusual even by Al Queda's standards. It showed...
Read full storyLily Allen Quits The Music Business - Cheryl Cole Asks, "Was Lily In The Music Business?"
LONDON - Lily Allen has recently announced that she has decided to quit the music business. She pointed out that the fun has gone out of it. She said that when she first started singing people would praise her and give her compliments and it fed...
Read full storyDick Cheney's New Heart Shaped Like Vagina
Austria - Dick Cheney is in Austria for a very special operation to replace his heart with a new man-made pump called the VRSEX4U. Cheney has complained in recent days to friend and confidant Sarah Palin about his inability to have relations with...
Read full storyElvis Discovered in Donut Factory
Rumours fly in a small town, but secrets can be kept too. That's why Effingham, Illinois is ground zero for one of the biggest secrets of this new century. It all started over 10 years ago when a Creamy Crisp Donut factory was built in Effingham and...
Read full storyNew Government Spending Concepts Unveiled
Washington DC: Congressional Democrats have indicated that any new federal spending in the next three years will be based on the five sound economic concepts embodied in folklore and adages. House Speaker Pelosi comes out of the House Chamber look...
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