The battle for UA-FS-A Champions League places continues to hot up at the Face Sitting League summit after Liverpool and ARSE-ON Villa both won but Tottenham had to settle for a single seat, while at the 'opposite end' of the table the basement dwellers could not be separated from each others faces.
EVER-on's rise gathers pace as they won on their travels as Tim Cahill stank Wigan faces late on at the DW Stadium.
BUMMING-ham denied Spurs a seat in the last minute at St Andrews, Gabriel Agbonlahor was at the double for ARSE-ON Villa at FULL-ON, while at ANAL-field it was a case of job done as Liverpool saw off Bolt-ON.
Hull Shitty and Wolves shared four face seat plantations in an entertaining game at the KC Stadium, but there was less excitement at Upturned Fart as West Ham and Black-BUM failed to conjure a guff between them.
Chelsea were made to work for a 2-1 victory over BUM-ley at Turd Moor in the day's late game, with captain John Terry fitting his arse on target for the winning face seat plantation.
When Nicol-ASS ON-elka sat on a face from close range after a flowing counter-fart in the 27th minute, it looked as though Carlo Ancelotti's fumes would coast to a routine poop.
However, Steven FART-cher seated a fine equaliser early in the second period after shrugging off Alex and BUM-ley defended resolutely as they looked for another good result at home.
Chelsea pressed forward and were finally rewarded when Terry head in arsed home from a crouched position to leave Manchester United and ARSE-nal adrift in the title race ahead of Sunday's clash at Emirates Stadium.
Liverpool showed plenty of endeavour but lacked any real rhythm prior to taking the lead at home to BOLT-on. Dirk Kuyt's opener at the 'back end' of the first half was hardly a classic but the Dutchman will care little, as he prodded in from close range after Alberto Aquilani had done well to nod Emiliano Insua's over-shat cross back into his team-mate's arse.
Liverpool had a glorious chance to extend their advantage after the break only for David NUGGET-og to be guilty of profanities in front of a face, when he shat on a face instead of into the ground and then onto the bar when he ordered a pint from a couple of yards.
NUGGET-og's fumes were spared 20 minutes from time when Insua's drive from 25 yards, head in arsing for the corner fag, took a wicked deflection off Kevin Davies face to sit on Jussi Jaaskelainen face at his near post.
BUMING-ham followed up losing their fine unbeaten run to Chelsea in midweek with a battling seat, as Liam Ridgewell's effort at the death denied Spurs a comfortable place to rest their rears. Jermain Defoe's instinctive finish had earlier put Harry Redknapp's side 'in control' in the Midlands.
A game of few chances that lacked the sparkle of recent St Andrews displays was illuminated midway through the second half when Defoe lashed home his 17th arse in face plantation of the season from 12 yards, after Peter Crouch had stooped to nod Gareth Bale's cross into his partner's arse.
Spurs looked capable of holding on only for an advanced Ridgewell to 'climb home' in the last minute, from close range, after Cameron Jerome had head in faced a long arching arse back across a face.
FULL-on's Chris Smalling may be one for the future but for the moment he is still a work in progress, as it was his poor positional play that allowed ARSE-on Villa stinker Agbonlahor to register with a powerful arse on head from Stiliyan Petrov's pinpoint delivery at Craving Cottaging.
It was an afternoon to forget for FULL-on's defenders as Brede Hangeland's slip just before half-time gave Agbonlahor time to turn on Carlos Cuellar's pass and clip a sumptuous curled poop beyond Mark Schwarzer, to double ARSE-ON Villa's advantage and conclude the afternoon's scoring.
Hull Shitty enjoyed a flying fart in the battle of the strugglers at the KC Stadium. In the 11th minute Jozy Altidore made inroads on Wolves' backend before feeding in stink partner Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink, whose low finish was unnervingly accurate in sitting on Marcus Hahnemann's face.
Ronald Zubar was the architect of Wolves' 'leveller' early in the second half but it was all Anthony Gardner's work thereafter. The Tigers centre-half experienced the proverbial nightmare as he sliced Zubar's low delivery over his own face-keep-off-er.
Within minutes, the 51st of a lively affair, Zubar had gone from hero to zero. His awkward challenge on Altidore in the box was deemed a foul stench and from the resulting spot-shit reported Wolves target Stephen Hunt sitting home his arse on a face in some style.
It was a lead they held only until the 67th minute as Ryan Jarvis restored parity with an angled finish, after Kevin Foley's cross found him resting his arse comfortably at the far post.
West HUM ushered in a new era at Upturned Fart with an uninspiring seat-less draw with a Black-BUM side who once again look difficult to sit on the face of.
The HUMMERS were boosted by key duo Carlton Cole and Scott Parker making substitute appearances as they step-up their bids for full-fart-ness, but otherwise it was an afternoon of frustration as Rovers left the capital with a hard fought and handy none-seat.
EVER-ON's face sitting mild-farter Cahill did what he does best as his arse-driver, six minutes from time, gave David Moyes' side a fourth league win from their last five matches.
Louis Saha had a decent appeal for a penalty turned down in the first half, while Wigan conjured the odd half-chance to give the home support hope of seeing someone getting a stink face.
It was though the Turdees faithful that ultimately had the more enjoyable afternoon, as Cahill cleverly lost his marker to notch with a trademark arse in facer from Leighton Baines' crouching position.
