New Life From Old, or Dora's Tale

Funny story written by Xinix Xaxx

Sunday, 31 January 2010

image for New Life From Old, or Dora's Tale
Dora's doctor's were never allowed to tell anyone the baby's gender

It all started about a year ago. Dora Black, TV's famous Dora the Explorer admitted she was indeed in a relationship with Diego Sanchez, who plays her cousin on TV's Go Diego Go and guests spots on Dora's show.

Most people did not know that Dora and Diego are 19 and 18, respectively, and not actually related, and their relationship was, at first, condemned and they were shunned because of it. Their press conference revealing that their status as cousins was not at all real, as well as showing their proper identification to reporters, did little to change people's attitudes. Nobody was willing to believe Dora was really an underdeveloped young woman, and not a child. Nobody wanted to believe the relationship between Dora and Diego was anything but a perverse romance between cousins.

Dora and Diego continued seeing one another for months. They were talking about marriage when they had quite a surprise.

Diego had, as a child, taken several injuries to his reproductive parts. Urologists told him that, due mostly to a bicycle accident, Diego would not be able to father children. The doctors may have been mistaken, because, after Dora and Diego had been "an item" for about five months, Dora discovered she did not have the flu, her illness was actually morning sickness and she was pregnant. Both were thrilled by the news, they began planning their wedding in earnest. Dora's parents were happy for the pair, despite Dora's relative youth. They thought that since Dora and Diego had known one another for so long, things might work out for them. Unfortunately, they were mistaken.

Dora was three months along, the wedding was in six days, and Dora thought the world was made of gold. Her show allowed her to take a leave, but she'd recorded almost sixty episodes ahead, preparing for the time she'd need off. The rest of the cast of Dora the Explorer was actually glad she'd be taking the break. Some of them said the hormone changes were making Dora manic. She wanted to film over one hundred episodes to fill her maternity leave, but nobody else could keep up with her pace. She was even writing episodes, many of which were made and will air in time. Dora's manic energy stopped suddenly, screeching to a halt like a Volkswagen Beetle slowly driving head on into a freight train traveling at 75 miles per hour.

Diego had entered the room with his arm around Lara Dianna Ross, who played Dianna, the acrobat, on TV's Dungeons and Dragons. He flatly told Dora it was all off, sealed his statement with a rather rude, deep kiss with Lara while groping various parts of Lara's body. Dora was, quite reasonably, stunned.

The network was not pleased with Diego. They canceled his contract, citing a "just morals" clause and released him. It is not known how much he will be paid for the episodes he already made, nor if he will retain royalty rights for any of his merchandise or programs. The legal issues are being debated and may have to be settled in court.

When the day when the wedding should have been arrived, Dora's mother found Dora, in her bedroom, wearing her wedding dress and veil, hanging from a rope attached to the ceiling fan which was causing her to rotate slowly. Dora was cut down, medics transported her to the hospital and she was pronounced brain dead. The doctors then hit Dora's parents with another bombshell: the baby was still alive, but nowhere near ready to be born.

Could Dora be kept alive mechanically long enough for the baby to have a chance to live? Should Dora be kept alive long enough for the baby to be born? The answers to these questions are not for us to make. Dora's parents had to figure them out for themselves and live with their decision.

Yesterday, Dora's baby was born, 38 weeks along, a healthy girl. Dora, who never awoke, never stirred, never showed the slightest trace of brain activity, will not get to hold her daughter. Dora will never know her daughter, little Rafaela will never know her mother. She will get the chance to meet her father, as tests have confirmed Diego is her father, but Diego has made no effort to visit. It is believed he feels some degree of responsibility for what happened to Dora, although he will not even speak of her or their relationship. Even when asked a direct question, he refuses to answer. He simply will not speak of that time, for good or ill. The Black family is planning on contacting Diego when they bring Rafaela home, but they are not optimistic.

Dora's pretapped shows will air until all the new episodes she made have been aired. At that time, the networks will decide if they want to continue running re-runs and, if so, how long. Diego's show will run until his pre-taped shows are used up, and then the series will be canceled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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