Rumours fly in a small town, but secrets can be kept too. That's why Effingham, Illinois is ground zero for one of the biggest secrets of this new century. It all started over 10 years ago when a Creamy Crisp Donut factory was built in Effingham and a "representative" of the company was sent to make the announcement, but no CEO or President ever emerged.
The Mayor received gift baskets at Christmas time, then it was a Cadillac on his birthday. Then certain other things began arriving in Effingham. A new theater for entertainers to perform at, the Rosebud. Then there were lots of new hotels and huge homes. All in a community best know for its truck stops!
Now it is official that the King has been spotted entering the Rosebud Theater by local winos contracted by The Spoof.com. One of the winos, sporting a phony British accent and mustache, Mark Lowton, said the following, "Wellll, twas hardly...er I mean bloody hell it looked just like Frank Sinatra, but maybe a bit Elvishish around d' middle if ye know er what I mean mate."
Donut officials have refused to respond to our threats and inquiries regarding the new cEo, but this might definitely be a case where silence speaks louder than words.