Andy Murray - Grand Slam Defeat A Conspiracy

Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 31 January 2010

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Coming Soon - Murray v China At Ping-Pong.

Whilst many neutral observers are of the opinion that Roger Federer is quite simply a better tennis player than Scotland's very own Andy Murray, there remains a simmering resentment among die-hard Murray fans who remain convinced that their man was the victim of a Swiss-Australian anti-British conspiracy to prevent Murray from becoming the first male Brit to take a grand slam title since Fred Perry, back in the day when dinosaurs still roamed the earth.

"Why did they have to play the match in Australia?" Doris Grunt of Coatbridge moaned. "That put oor laddie at a disadvantage frae the aff."

"Aye," added Donald Troosers of Leith. "And they played too early in the morning. It wiz afore breakfast! Ye cannae ask a guy tae play tap tennis wi nae brekky in his belly! That's ridiculous that is. I saw the match on the telly and it wiz obvious that oor boy wisnae praper awake. It wiz still dark yet when they finished!"

"It wiz a conspiracy by the Yodellers and the Convicts," Terry MacFucksakes of East Kilbride chipped in. "The whole thing wuz rigged in yer mon Federer's favour. Bastarts that they are! And gettin' wee Susan Boyle tae sing Scotland The Brave tae Murray afore the bully-aff - that wiz just plain tapped. Susan bliddy Boyle first thing in the morning when ye've no got yer wits aboot ye...that's jist fuckin criminal and aw that..."

Andy Murray was annahilated in straight sets. Tim Henman sent a consolation message from his hill in Wimbledon.

In the meantime the world turns.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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