Written by matwil

Sunday, 31 January 2010

image for A Day In Capitalist Los Angeles
'Even my communist country has free universal health care for all. As does the UK, France, Germany ....'

This week I had the rather dubious pleasure of visiting capitalist Los Angeles, a western town that exists for no known reason. It hasn't changed its name from its Spanish one as Americans can't spell properly, so thought it would be easier to keep the name the same. And then one day the capitalists in that uninteresting city decided to continue oppressing the poor and letting them buy machine-guns in the same old way.

Most private property became worthless for millions in that city and there was no industry except for ripping poor people off in food, rent, transport and even health care, something that not even the most right-wing British and Europeans would lower themselves to do. The local butcher Jose Ballesteros told me how the capitalists had affected his life.

'It all started OK, the free market meant we worked hard and earnt plenty of money, but then my child fell ill. And as Los Angeles doesn't have a universal 'free' - that is paid for out of wages in advance, so you get the best treatment in the world for any ailments you may suffer from no matter how rich or poor you are if it happens - health care system, I had to bankrupt my butcher's shop to pay for my child to get treated in a hospital.'

'Then some people moved into my room with names like Obama and Bush, which was rather annoying at first, but of course then I realised I should give them most of my wages to fund idiotic wars in the Middle East. I don't own my country any more so these people were entitled to steal my money. To be honest, I don't know how the United States is supposed to work - the only country in the Western world that has never won a war, has no national health care system and elects morons as their heads of state.'

'My family have been living off 232 pound burgers and fries, unlike in Russia where 99% of the very white population there were slaves for hundreds of years before bleating Africans were sent by other Africans to become slaves in America.'

'Would I like my country to grow up and introduce socialist and even communist legislation to make millions of Americans that have been disgracefully treated in their own country for hundreds of years better off? The USA should be renamed the Unacceptable Face of Capitalism. A 'K' would make that a correct acronym, plus an 'Off.'

P.S. If you're an American pretending to be British, try harder next time. You can fool all the Americans all of the time, you can never fool any of the British any of the time.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Los Angeles

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