Disneyland Dress Code: If It Doesn't Fit, Do Not Sit, Just Get Up, And Sue The Pants & Hijab Off and/or On The Evildoers and Their Little Magical Empire, Too!
ANAHEIM - Another week like the one just passed, and it won't just be the usual bunch of Disneyland faithful - wide-eyed out-of-towners wearing hats that'll never sit atop a warm head ever again; loyally committed Southern No-Cal folk who have turned...
Read full storyMore Website Clicks Than Pattinson, Stewart & Lautner Put Together: The Man With The Word's Smallest Penis
The five-page website of the man with the world's smallest penis is not only back to #1, it now gets more clicks per day that Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson put together! Andy "Handy" Doodler says that people are naturally cu...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Meets Kristen Stewart In Transyvania
Kristen Stewart has agreed to go with Robert Pattinson on his search for his ancestry back to Vlad the Impaler or the original Dracula. The two have met a local historian, Stephen Karlowitz, who is taking them back to a beautiful area of Romania.
Read full storyPolitical correctness at football: Labour Shadow Cabinet V Guardian Journalists
The result is always a draw at 'politically correct' football matches, as it would be unkind and unfair for anyone to lose. So at the recent annual Labour Shadow Cabinet versus Guardian Journalists football match, a debate was called before the...
Read full storyGround Zero "Hallowed Ground" Say America's Morally Repugnant
Ground Zero, the site of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack in New York City, is hallowed ground, say some of the most morally repellent humans in America. Taking a break from reprehensible, and sometimes criminal, proclivities these Americans s...
Read full storyLocal man has lazy Sunday while girlfriend away
In a shock announcement this afternoon, a local man admitted, in broad daylight, in front of customers and staff at a local shop that he had done nothing of significance all day long. Shopkeeper, Mrs Agoraki, who was behind the counter of the corn...
Read full storyThis is serious shit
This is definitely serious shit for any of you planning on visiting Whitby. Most 'readers' know me by now and I do not take the 'S-word' lightly.....I mean 'SERIOUS'... If you are planning a visit to the wonderful seaside town of Whitby DO NOT GO THERE AFTER 11 a.m. Trust me! We tried it. Even WITH a 'blue disabled' card belonging to my mam (who WAS with us by the way) we could NOT fi...
Read full storyCertified Organic Petroleum Products
Natural Drilling, Inc. is the world's first producer of crude oil and related products to achieve organic certification, and the company aims to challenge the market with a line of 'healthy transportation' offerings. 'The oil we bring out of the g...
Read full storyBoy Hit by Stingray Barb in Freak Accident Gets Wise Advice from Fishermen
OUTER BANKS, North Carolina - A young boy fishing off a pier in North Carolina with his parents was the victim of a freak accident last week when a barb from a stingray being hauled upon a fishing boat broke off from the animal and flew straight towa...
Read full story"Chelsea Will Not Win Every Game 6-0", Warns Ancelotti
Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti has warned his team not to be complacent in their defence of the Premier League title, after they ran out 6-0 winners for the second week in succession against Wigan Athletic at the DW Stadium yesterday evening. The...
Read full storyIran's first unmanned bomber drone brings "message of friendship" - Tehran
Iran underscored its peaceful intentions by releasing a new unmanned bomber drone and claiming that it brings a "message of friendship". The Karrar aircraft has a range of 1,000 km and can carry two 250 lb bombs or one precise 500 lb bomb. How...
Read full storyDerek Acorah In Multi-Million Pound Divorce Battle
Entertainment spookster Derek Acorah has entered into a multi-million pound divorce battle with his partner Sam. The Liverpudlian faux-medium has been with his Ethiopian partner for nearly 2000 years, when they met in a former life. The relatio...
Read full storyBlair opens Vatican Bank subsidiary
London -(Money Laundering News): FireBush-911 will begin trading in September under the First Vatican Bank of Bloodyvostock flag of convenience. Reports in UK Sunday redtops say the venture has been capitalised at $50 million and will offer money...
Read full story'Textbook cover-up' says pathologst in Dr David Kelly psychodrama
London - (Cadavers): The clinician in charge of sexing up Dr David Kelly's autopsy findings says it's all been a whitewash. Royal Freak Hospital pathologist Prof Hawley H Crippen told reporters today the ex-KGB turncoat was on a government shit li...
Read full storyJesus gets ASBO
We can exclusively reveal that Jesus has today been handed an ASBO in a surprising turn of events at the High Court. Ruling for the prosecution in the case Judge Gary Baldi said "The evidence was overwhelming in the end - he has to be taught a les...
Read full storyFamous Pop Star In Death Leap
The music world is today in mourning following the shocking untimely death of world famous singer, Charles Haddon. Haddon, the lead singer of global phenomenom Ou Est Le Swimming Pool, apparently dived 200 feet to his death in a stunt that appears...
Read full storyFourth plinth to become toilet memorial of people that have urinated on memorials
The fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square has caused quite a bit of controversial controversy of late with lots of people talking about the issue, about which there is strong disagreement especially in public or in the press. A Battenberg cake, a blu...
Read full storyThe British Police Services operate in the good old zanu-labour way. The tyranny continues!
Heathrow, London: Fresh from their Northumbrian campaign, in the search for Raoul Moat, the miniature Wehrmacht have been on manoeuvres again, this time at Heathrow. The miniature Wehrmacht, kitted out again with pseudo-military outfits and coals...
Read full storyThe Stig unhelmeted by suddenly going all bling
The unhelmeting of the BBC Top Gear stunt driver known as "The Stig" was shunted further into the oncoming headlights of the international media juggernaut today, after financial details came to light that suggested it's a former racing driver, Ben C...
Read full storyMet Office "Crap" Admission
UK's Meteorological Office - the Met Office - is at the centre of a storm again after it was discovered that they deliberately seek to confuse TV viewers with contradictory forecasts. The latest row comes just weeks after the organisation...
Read full storyHunt For Missing Oxfordshire Man Continues
An Oxfordshire man is on the run this evening after brutally leaving his wife to stew alone at home after a string of viscous attacks. Police and family members are desperately looking for Trevor Beagle, 47. He was last seen by his wife Susan flee...
Read full storyHamster at odds with little frog
Richard Hammond AKA the hamster was arrested yesterday by French police after he stole a pair of the French Presidents platform shoes while attending a party at the Presidents residence. Apparently he was intimidated by Carla's height and couldn't manage to peer down her dress to see her tits while wearing his normal shoes. He said that he only borrowed them with the intent to return them aft...
Read full storyEx-Lib-Dem leader Charles Kennedy to join Julia Gillard's Australian Labour party
One day after denying newspaper reports that he was about to defect to the Labour party, ex-British Liberal Democrat party leader Charles Kennedy has left the country to join Australian Julia Gillard's Labour party. Kennedy is no stranger to scand...
Read full storyBlind fans watch blind footballers in blind world cup
Thousands of blind fans piled into a football stadium in London to watch England play China in the blind football world cup. The ball has hundreds of tiny ball bearings inside so that players can hear it. The pitch is smaller than a regular sized...
Read full storyThe morning after pill
'Do you have a morning after pill, Mum?' 'Penny, you didn't screw with Terry did you?' 'No it was West ham who were screwed. I just need help getting over it.' 'I can tell you one thing. West Ham are not bottom of the League. Wigan are. They are also on zero points but their goal difference is far worse.' 'Yes, it depends on others being even worse.' 'Then, you said the game after M...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Didn't Look At All Well On Last Night's X-Factor
Just in from Skoob Entertainment News's showbiz correspondent, Buffty Ginslinger. In an ambulance, en route to A&E at University College Hospital on Euston Road. It seems that the nation's sweetheart (unless you happen to be a lavatory atte...
Read full storyKangaroos face hanging
Republicans in Australia are shocked by their fellow citizens copying the British political model, recently launched onto the market, of the elegantly named 'Hung Parliament'. 'The people have not spoken' said one irate Aussie 'look what's happeni...
Read full storyStudy Reveales, Some People Are Plane Stupid
You always hear, that everyone has potential. Everyone thinks, everyone else, can become more than they are now. People like to think the entire population, is out to better it's self. A study by, Bob Hoskins Medical Institute, has revealed that...
Read full storyPixie Lott denies Ever Having Met Buffty Ginslinger - Cheryl Cole Furious
Blonde haired British diva, Pixie Lott yesterday denied ever having met Skoob Entertainment News's top showbiz correspondent, Buffty Ginslinger. When approached by paparazzi as she went down to Sainsbury's to buy a leg of lamb for the traditional...
Read full storySelena Gomez Goes To Bed With Robert Pattinson And Taylor Lautner - Miley Cyrus Furious
Hollywood - Unconfirmed reports are flooding in with the shock news that wholesome Texan Disney girl next door, Selena Gomez, went to bed in the early hours of this morning with Twilight hunks, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Skoob Entertainm...
Read full storySly Stallone Rings Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange, Cracks the Bell
Last weekend, movie star Sylvester Stallone took over the box office with his new movie, "The Expendables." Then on Thursday, he and fellow cast members -- Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, and Terry Crews -- took over the New York Stock Exchange, maki...
Read full storyKatie Price and Alex Reid's Marriage Meltdown Headed For Splitsville
LONDON - Alex Reid and Katie Price were married in Las Vegas in February but the way things are going they could end up getting divorced before the end of the year in London. Reid says that he has had it with Katie ignoring him and only thinking a...
Read full storyHuge Chinese 10-Month Old Expected to Become Next World Sumo Wrestling Champ by Age of Three
Lei Lei, named after the famous Lay's potato chips, was a large baby when born, but not extraordinarily large, claims his mother. However, ever since his birth, he's been eating anything and everything and he has been growing twice as fast as other b...
Read full storyVenus and Serena Williams Angrily Deny The Rumors That They Are Both Bro's
CLEVELAND - Venus and Serena Williams two of tennis world's super stars were in town visiting one of their aunts Mimosa Rashonda Bloomington. Venus was asked by a reporter for The Cleveland Morning Messenger newspaper about the rumors that first s...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston and Kim Kardashian Tell Bill O'Reilly To Mind His Own Friggin' Business
LOS ANGELES - Last week Fox Network commentator Bill O'Reilly said that Jennifer Aniston is wrong for thinking that a woman can raise a child without a father figure. Aniston basically told O'Reilly that he needs to mind his own friggin business.
Read full storyTea Party Orgie, Human Tongue Growth Hormones and Tonguelectomies
Last night at a tea party in Miami Florida while dancing the Lambada with Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh grabbed his neck, gasped for air and quickly fell to the ground. According to an eyewitness, the ubiquitous "Large Marge", It sounded like a garbage...
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