Certified Organic Petroleum Products

Funny story written by Helen Tarnation

Sunday, 22 August 2010

image for Certified Organic Petroleum Products
All-natural oil well in California

Natural Drilling, Inc. is the world's first producer of crude oil and related products to achieve organic certification, and the company aims to challenge the market with a line of 'healthy transportation' offerings.

'The oil we bring out of the ground is exactly as Nature intended it to be', said Bud Sobel, CEO of Natural Drilling.

'We do not add any artificial chemicals or preservatives to our petroleum, which means that when it is refined, the resulting grease, motor oil, gasoline and jet fuel are pure and pristine.'

'Where others tap natural underground springs of water for beverages, we tap natural underground springs of oil', he added.

What makes the company's products healthier for cars and airplanes is the dangers posed by artificial additives.

'Nobody really knows the unseen dangers posed by the man-made impurities added to conventional lubricants and fuels', Sobel said. 'But this much is obvious: cars and aircraft wear out prematurely, and that is unsustainable in the long run.'

Due to the increased cost of producing organic petroleum products, the company will charge in the range of 50 percent more for its brands.

'Consumers will be happy to pay a bit more', Sobel said, 'because the result will be happier, healthier means of transportation.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more