London - (Cadavers): The clinician in charge of sexing up Dr David Kelly's autopsy findings says it's all been a whitewash.
Royal Freak Hospital pathologist Prof Hawley H Crippen told reporters today the ex-KGB turncoat was on a government shit list.
"Sure made Blair look like a fool," Crippen commented, "and
that of course was Carole Caplin's job!"
The WMD inspector's death in 2003 is being investigated once again following the recent USA arrest of a dozen KGB spies - including silly social climbing muppet Anna Chapman.
UK spooks want to know if a Russian dead letter drop behind a large rock on Harrowdown Hill was where Kelly may have stashed some microdots.
These describe in excruciating detail extensive plans to invade Iraq - made in 1995 by George W Bush and Tony Blair.
"The Poodle Brothers were hired by Kuwaiti megalomaniacs to annex Iraq," foreign intelligence specialist Brigadier Johnny Turkbottom (Ret) said today.
"Kelly was on a 5% backhander, confident of coming up with some WMDs to fit the fantasy.
"Anybody remember Alexander Litvinenko RIP and that Plutonium-210 business?"
