Met Office "Crap" Admission

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Sunday, 22 August 2010

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UK's Meteorological Office - the Met Office - is at the centre of a storm again after it was discovered that they deliberately seek to confuse TV viewers with contradictory forecasts.

The latest row comes just weeks after the organisation managed to retain their contract for broadcast forecasting with the BBC. Many insiders wanted the contract go to a rival forecaster because, they said, the Met Office was "crap."

One of their most famous gaffes was to fail to predict the hurricane that struck the south east in 1987.

Now BBC viewers are up in arms over simultaneous contradictory forecasts.

One such viewer is Sid Inkwell, of Maidstone, Kent. He told us: "Oh yes, my wife and I have been keen viewers of the weather forecast now for many years. I like to watch the bulletins in the news programmes and then switch to the text version.

"This morning the chappie on screen was predicting huge downpours and talking of flood warnings for tonight and tomorrow. But the map on the text version was predicting clear skies and dry weather.

"Well that rather put Irene and me in a quandary. Shall we venture down to the club tonight to see our friends or not?"

An unnamed source within the Met Office admitted they operated a policy of equivocation.

"Oh yes - don't tell anyone, but we make up two different forecasts for each platform.

"The thing is, we simply don't know what's going to happen. We are pretty crap, really.

"It all looks very scientific, what with radar pictures and everything. But really those graphics are made by interns using pencils and crayons in the back office.

"If you really want to know what the weather's like, you're better off sticking your head outside."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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