Tea Party Orgie, Human Tongue Growth Hormones and Tonguelectomies

Funny story written by Jaime Morales

Sunday, 22 August 2010

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Last night at a tea party in Miami Florida while dancing the Lambada with Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh grabbed his neck, gasped for air and quickly fell to the ground. According to an eyewitness, the ubiquitous "Large Marge", It sounded like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building". Coulter who was dancing with Rush panicked momentarily and screamed "earthquake". A second later Ann grabbed her long neck, closed her bug eyes to a normal size and went down as well.

Both radio celebrities were quickly rushed to the hospital emergency room. Unfortunately when they got there the line to the emergency room was so long that it wrapped around the building. There was an influenza outbreak among the illegal alien anchor baby community and the paperwork and translation process was slowing down the admission process.

A couple of minutes later another ambulance came in, Glenn Beck and strangely enough Keith Olbermann, who were are a near bye Go Go bar were suffering similar symptoms of asphyxiation. A nurse who was standing by the door realized the severity of the situation and allowed the four choking heads into the
treatment area.

After finding out that Limbaugh had a heart condition the doctors needed to find out which medications Rushbo el Gordo was taking, Hence, two police officers were dispatched to the near bye Hilton Hotel where Limbaugh and fellow talking heads were spending the weekend at the four room penthouse

At a press conference later some disturbing news were released. All four talking heads were suffering from "Gangrenous Lingual Asphyxiation", the side effects from a "Human Tongue Growth Hormone overdose.

Ann Coulter's case was the worst. Her tongue had grown so large that her eyes popped out of her head and smashed into a female Hindu surgeon right on the forehead.

At first Doctor Patel Patel was quite angry. She ran to the ladies room in a state of panic. When she looked at herself in the mirror, She smiled and liked what she saw, It looked like she had two matching pottu dots on the center of the forehead. She thought out loud, "perhaps I can start of a new fashion fad amongst Hindu females."

Meanwhile when the police arrived at the Hilton, the bell boy escorted them to the penthouse. When the officers knocked at the door a scared and shocked Speedo wearing Jose Canseco opened the front door and greed ed the officers,"Buenos Diaz officers", Canseco said, "Buenos Diaz my ass" the officer replied.

An angry officer kicked the door open and walked in, "Do you have a warrant"? canseco asked, "Do you have a pair of pants Mr. Hilton"? the officer" replied. Apparently the officer thought Jose was Hilton Perez.

Right away the officers started checking the rooms at the penthouse. When one of officers opened a closet door, they couldn't believe what they saw. Ann Coulter's husband was hiding inside. He was wearing a push up bra with curvaceous full body stockings, make up and an Ann Coulter look alike wig. "come out of the closet darling and sit there by the love seat" the officer ordered him in a mockingly provocative sexy voice.

The other officer opened the door to the spacious master bedroom. The fearless strong cop almost fainted at what he saw. What a sight! he exclaimed when he saw Rachel Maddow, the new Mrs. Limbaugh, Mrs.Beck, Mrs. Olbermann and eight illegal alien day laborers that Canseco had picked up early that morning. They were all huddle up in bed in a hot Tea Orgy Party. This was no normal bed either . It was a gigantic select number triple queen size classic bed, Custom made with double mattress for extra comfort and two additional headboards.

A portable Drugmoblile" was attached to the bed. There were hundreds of Vicoprofen, Provigil (brain stimulants) anti-depressant bottles inside the two drawers. A cocaine cutting glass slab with matching razor, ready full syringes of fast acting viagra and a party barf bucket hanging on the side.
Two boxes full of syringes loaded with tongue growth human steroids were also found under the bed.
They were all taken into custody.

Back at the Hospital, All four patients had tongolectomies and are now quietly resting.

Two of the surgeon who took part in the surgery were really disappointed. The younger surgeon said "to think that we listen to these talking heads, believe what they say and act accordingly The older surgeon replied. "son the only tanking head worth listening to Is David Byrne.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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