Susan Boyle flight from Tokyo, were they all sedated
It is reported that something strange happened to the posh people on the Very Special People's Upper Class section of the flight carrying the Scottish singer, Susan Boyle and her team back from Tokyo to London several weeks ago. Reports, from an u...
Read full storyMore egg on Dave's face, this time from Sam
The political world was shaken today when rumours emerged that the Conservative leader and possible Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife could be about to split up. Samantha, who is pregnant, had asked David what he wanted for breakfast. D...
Read full storyGlenn Miller Found!
American Big Band Leader, Glenn Miller who has been presumed dead and missing since Christmas 1944 has turned up in a Midlands Supermarket Now aged a whopping 106, Swinging Glenn was found in his original plane under the pertrol station in a branc...
Read full storyElvis Impersonator Becomes Brown Campaign Fixture
Elvis impersonator Hamish McTwiddle is to permanently accompany Gordon Brown on his election campaign using the King's songs to highlight the achievements of the Labour Party. Mr McTwiddle said he became a Labour voter after he received electro-co...
Read full storyBrown Ahead in Testicle Whipping Poll
Gordon Brown has received in the boost in the polls today with the news that 20 per cent of voters would rather vote for him than be beaten soundly around the testicles with a rubber cosh. The poll organised by the BBC and the Guardian, also found...
Read full storyDaleks exterminate Trinny and Susannah after disastrous make-over
The Daleks courted fresh controversy yesterday after exterminating beloved fashion gurus Trinny and Susannah. The extermination came following a make-over which saw the drab extra-terrestial tin cans put into a variety of colours, designed to best sh...
Read full storyMinistry of Ed. in Ontario, Canada, proposing Sex Education in Schools for 6 year olds
What is the world coming to when top Politicians in Ontario, Canada, propose to start Sex Education classes in schools as early as Grade 1? These children are only six years old. Naturally some parents are up in arms and who can blame them? Th...
Read full storyFrench Government To Ban Women's Clothing
The French government is expected to announce extreme new laws preventing women from wearing any clothes in public. Nicholas Sarkozy has long been an advocate of "sexy politique" and if he gets his way then French women could be seen in the nude very...
Read full storyGeneral Boarding Appointed Head of Homeland Security
President Obama has announced that he has appointed General Boarding as the new director of Homeland Security. "General Boarding has a great deal of experience in our nations's airports and is considered to be a popular choice over the other top c...
Read full storyJonas brother fears the worst!
Earlier this week, Nick Jonas, 17, expressed his closest fears to this reporter. He, and girlfriend Selena Gomez are extremely worried at this very stressful time of their relationship. "We didn't mean for it to happen" Nick worryingly admitte...
Read full storyA Miraculous Event down The Mine
Many years ago a friend of mine called Joe worked in the coal mines. He would go to work early in the morning, go down the mine to the coal face and do his eight hour stint, then come back to the surface to get ready to come home. He followed this daily routine faithfully for years on end, down the mine in the morning and up at the end of his shift. Down then up, down then up. One day whil...
Read full storySubo fanatics horrified about latest news of security measures being taken to ensure Subo privacy in her new home
Subo fanatics are up in arms on hearing of the new security wall being built around Susan's new home. When hearing of the height and thickness of the wall, plus the moat, they began wailing and flailing. "It's so not fair," wailed one of the Red...
Read full storyEx-SAS Soldier Speaks Out
An alleged ex-SAS soldier was branded a "vigilante of the truth" yesterday following the release of his latest book, "Middle-Eastenders". Sandy McFlab's most recent paperback makes startling claims about his one-man war on terror. In the book McF...
Read full storyMcKenna - Look Into The Eyes...
Audience members have hailed Paul Mckenna's latest live and hypnotic show "abysmal." Tickets sold out to a packed Brighton Centre auditorium but things took a sudden downturn as the stage man failed to perform. Chants of, "refund, refund" ran...
Read full storyO' Halloran: The Stamp of Death: Part 4
- WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS WANKING AND SEXUAL REFERENCES TO SEX AND SHIT- Part 1|Part 2|Part 3 Part 4 Doctor Huckleberry Fudgecicle Stickybum Baboon IV's Apartment - 6.00AM Chief McMurtagh stands over the dead body of the doctor and rubs his stubbly face. He shakes his head and places his hands on his bulging hips. "Chief, why are you poking that dead body and rubbing its...
Read full storyUtah murderer chooses firing squad
Convicted murderer Ronnie Lee Gardner has caused a storm of controversy after telling the sentencing judge: "I would like the firing squad, please." Following the frenzied reporting of the firing squad executions of Gary Gilmore, who famously quip...
Read full storyVolunteers Asked To Remain On Holiday Forever
With the heavy backlog of flights caused by the Icelandic volcano, airline companies and the government have called for volunteers to remain in exile forever. Long-haul flights are the worst hit, and British airways has been offering passengers th...
Read full storyHull City Facing "Doomsday Scenario"
Hull City chairman Adam Pearson has warned the club's supporters that the Tigers' relegation from the Premier League to the Championship will leave them facing a 'Doomsday Scenario' which could well herald the End of the World. City, who face Sund…
Read full storyCome back John, all is forgiven
Question...what is the reward for voting labour? Answer... a minimum of nine bins and an alien for a neighbour. The idiots running Great Britain from the European parliament are at it again forcing daft Brits to toe their increasingly ridiculous line or face huge fines for putting too much shit in the landfill sites. But what about the mountain of doggy crap currently being deposited in lamp an...
Read full storyAlex Reid Says "I'm Bigger Than Jesus"
Alex Reid, cage-fighting cross-dressing pet husband of Katie Price has claimed his fame level has now reached very dizzy heights. Overly-tanned to the point of becoming a possible BNP manifesto target, and styled as a Roman gladiator, the muscle-b...
Read full storyTech store gives Susan Boyle a laptop
Scottish singing sensation, Susan Boyle is said to be delighted with her all singing, all dancing laptop, presented to her by a prominent technology store. Although still very much a novice at techie stuff, Miss Boyle is impressed by the laptop so...
Read full storySir Alex Ferguson dismisses Man Utd 'will become gay' rumours
Sir Alex Ferguson has dismissed rumours he will become gay as Manchester United boss at the end of next season. The 68-year-old has been United manager for over 23 years but last year said he would step down if his health or hunger for benders eve...
Read full story2010 London Marathon in jeopardy after Tower Bridge gets stuck
Organisers of the 29th London Marathon were today busily trying to plan a new route for the world famous run as they were informed of the news that the Tower Bridge had got stuck in an open position. The iconic bridge is one of the main landmarks...
Read full storyCrystal Swing, Miley Cyrus, the Wiggles and Jedward announced as support bands for AC/DC European tour.
Irish internet sensations Crystal Swing and X Factor successes Jedward have been contracted to support Australian rockers AC/DC on the European leg of their world tour. AC/DC are one of the worlds greatest live acts but have, in recent years begun...
Read full storyWill we see Billy Ocean duet with Lady Gaga?
Billy Ocean the 80s music icon has returned to the lime-light with the launching of his greatest hits album this week, and is to start a UK tour next month. Ocean would like to see Lady Gaga, perform a duet with him while wearing a sailors hat sin...
Read full storyNew Technology is the Remote's Remote Remote
Several years ago a leading web based news content provider published an article about a remote for the television remote that gave the TV junkie the ability to control his remote even if it was lost down the sofa. Now technology has advanced to...
Read full storyBrown Admits To Upping The Tempo
Gordon Brown has admitted that he is "upping the tempo" in the General Election campaign. With just two weeks to go he has upped the tempo. He said "Yes, I've upped the tempo. Always when you get near to the election, you up the tempo. We are near th...
Read full storyDr Who's Rainbow Daleks should be Exterminated
Dr Who started away back in 1963 in fact it was the same week that President Kennedy, was assassinated. It was at this time we were first introduced to The Daleks, who became Dr Who's number one enemy. The Daleks used to have children running in te...
Read full storyFrench police fine veiled Muslim woman driver
Police in Nantes, in the west of France, today fined a Muslim woman for driving whilst wearing a veil after she was stopped for driving through two sets of red lights and narrowly missing a young child trying to cross the road. A police spokesman...
Read full storyKindles To Be Sold at Target, iPads Will Be There
An exciting announcement from Amazon: Kindles, Amazon's electronic readers, will be sold in U. S. Target Stores. Kindles are ecstatic that they will be available in brick-and-mortar stores, and they are celebrating with parties, speeches, and publ...
Read full storySteele Justifies Strip Club Visit
The following is a recent letter from the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele to major GOP donors: Polls indicate that a majority of strippers hate social diseases/socialism I've said it many times, and I'll say it again now - only through your blind faith and radical, right-wing beliefs has our (Tea) party been able to scare and anger so many Americans in such a sh...
Read full storySpoof Writer ends up like Egyptian Mummy after Fight
A Spoof Writer ended up in hospital yesterday after a crazy dispute between two Spoof Writers, who cannot be named for legal reasons got out of control. Spoof Writer Y, called Spoof Writer X, a shit writer and X retaliated by asking Y, Why. X then...
Read full storyU.S. Man Chooses His Firing Squad
A prisoner on death row has opted for death by a firing squad of his own choosing. When given the choice between a lethal injection or being shot by a squad of his own choosing, Ronnie Lee Gardiner told the judge "Silly question. Shooting please!"...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Top of the Hits
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart get more hits on the internet, than anyone else in the entertainment industry, which is a mystery because the Movie, Twilight, that caused their rise to stardom is average at best but there seems to have been a...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Signs Exclusively To The Spoof
Robert Pattinson has signed an exclusive contract with TheSpoof.com. From now on he has agreed to appear in every single story, no matter what the subject matter is. Editor Mark Lowton was said to be "delighted" although there was some concern that p...
Read full storyGreeks in UK collect for the homeland
It is reported that the owners of Greek cafes, restaurants and snack bars will, from today, be sending 10% of their takings to the "You Better Shape Up" rescue fund. Old humous cartons will serve as collecting tins as Greeks attempt to help the ol...
Read full storyPlymouth Argyle Players Punished by Japanese Owners
Japanese businessman Yasuaki Kagami, whose company has a large holding of Plymouth Argyle shares has reacted badly to the team's relegation. Speaking on a specially constructed stand in the middle of Home Park, he berated the team for not working...
Read full storyVictoria Justice's House Maid Says Vicki Wants To Date Zac Efron
LOS ANGELES - Nikki Hollandfoo, who works as Victoria Justice's maid has stated that all Victoria has talked about for the past two weeks is Zac Efron and how badly she wants to date him. Hollandfoo says that every other word out of Vicki's mouth...
Read full storyVolunteers asked to give sausage rolls to stranded passengers
UK airlines are seeking volunteers to give sausage rolls so passengers still stranded after the volcanic ash cloud disruption can have a bite to eat. British Airways has asked customers due on return flights since services resumed to eat other pas...
Read full storyTV Presenter Denise Van Outen's Baby To Come On Out Pretty Soon
NORTH LONDON - Denise Van Outen says that she has only gained about 179 pounds but she says that it feels more like 183. The 35-year-old TV presenter stated that she wants the baby to hurry up and pop his bloomin' head out so that she can stop wea...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Has A Crush On John Mayer
EL PASO - Taylor Swift had just finished performing her sold-out concert at El Paso's La Chupacabra Convention Center when she was asked about John Mayer. Swift, quickly tried to change the subject by talking about one of the awards she had recent...
Read full storyBrenda Song Gives Robert Pattinson A Hickey
LONDON - Brenda Song, one of America's most popular actresses made a visit to London to see her ex-boyfriend Robert Pattinson. Pattinson and Song dated before he began starring in the film adaptations of the Twilight novels. Song has made no se...
Read full storySelena Gomez and Nick Jonas Reveal Intimate Secrets
LOS ANGELES - Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas were recently spotted at a local Senor Taco Gordo Mexican Restaurant sharing an order of El Grande Burritos. The two 17-year-olds were asked if they were still an item. Nick smiled and said that he has al...
Read full storyThe Wit and Wisdom of Throckmorton P. Turdblossom
Sometimes in life, especially when you're growin' older and always forgettin' where you put your dentures, a man likes to write down some of the things he's learned. Sometimes, this is done to pass down your wisdom to future generations. Other times, it's to make money by selling stuff to a magazine or because you're hopin' to git a book contract. This isn't any of those. This one's just cuz...
Read full storySecret Murdoch Tapes Threaten to Expose Palin and Beck as Puppets
Rumors are swirling in back alleys and executive washrooms about the handful of tapes that, if made public, could blow the lid off Rupert Murdoch's hold on American politics, bringing Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, and others down with him in the fallout. The story about town is sometime late last year, a mysterious Chinese man concocted a scheme to seemingly save Murdoch's life and in doing so, was...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kate Winslet and the Merkin
It was while they were spending a relaxing long weekend at their bohemian flat in Much Wenlock in Shropshire recently, that Twilight duo, the elegantly wasted and sexily ashen couple Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, had the fashion idea that le...
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