TV Presenter Denise Van Outen's Baby To Come On Out Pretty Soon

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 24 April 2010

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image for TV Presenter Denise Van Outen's Baby To Come On Out Pretty Soon
A photo of what Van Outen's fetus looked like at three weeks.

NORTH LONDON - Denise Van Outen says that she has only gained about 179 pounds but she says that it feels more like 183.

The 35-year-old TV presenter stated that she wants the baby to hurry up and pop his bloomin' head out so that she can stop wearing her size 28 knickers and get back to wearing her size 10 knickers.

She also said that she is tired of her hubby Lee Mead using her stomach as a TV tray.

Mead is due to start his performance as Fiyero in When The Wickedly Wicked Come Wickedly A Calling. He has stated that he had no idea that a woman's stomach could stretch to the size that his wife's has.

He laughed and said that the other night she rolled over on him and almost suffocated him. Luckily for him their teacup poodle, Pansy, saw what was happening and he proceeded to bite Denise on one of her bicuspids causing her to wake up and get off of her husband.

When the couple was asked if they had picked out a name, they replied that they had agreed on Buckleberry if it's a boy, and Chezza if it's a girl.

To see photographs of what the baby looked like at eight days and eight months in the womb log on to www.insidedenisestummy.sex

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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