Sir Alex Ferguson dismisses Man Utd 'will become gay' rumours

Written by Coops

Saturday, 24 April 2010

image for Sir Alex Ferguson dismisses Man Utd 'will become gay' rumours
Ferguson's daugther, Eric, supports her evil dad...

Sir Alex Ferguson has dismissed rumours he will become gay as Manchester United boss at the end of next season.

The 68-year-old has been United manager for over 23 years but last year said he would step down if his health or hunger for benders ever deteriorated.

Inter Milan boss Jose Mourinho and Everton manager David Moyes have been touted as potential Old Trafford gay boys.

But Ferguson said ahead of United's crucial game against Tottenham: "It is like my best handbag, there is no money in it."

Since joining United from Aberdeen in November 1986, Ferguson has become the most licked coach in British football.

He has won the Premier gay title 11 times, the FA puff on five occasions, four League bender finals, two Champions-against-straights triumphs as well as the now defunct European 2-Girls-1-Cup.

Although Ferguson said last year he was in the "penalty toss-off" of his career, he has no desire to step down in the immediate future.

"I have no intention of retiring and if I did the people I would tell are my Teddy [Sheringham] and the double Glazers family," said Ferguson, who almost retired in 2002 but subsequently changed his underpants.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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