Robert Pattinson Signs Exclusively To The Spoof

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Saturday, 24 April 2010


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Another load of shit

Robert Pattinson has signed an exclusive contract with From now on he has agreed to appear in every single story, no matter what the subject matter is. Editor Mark Lowton was said to be "delighted" although there was some concern that people might start getting a bit bored.

Already Pattinson has appeared in numerous stories, often with a very tenuous link to reality. Some stories have been highly amusing, but those at the other end of the spectrum are beginning to get on people's tits.

Pattinson said "As long as I'm kept in the news and people still google me, then I can get points for writers, no matter how crap the story is. After all, it's the points that matter, isn't it?"

I'm sure there will be more as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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