Japanese businessman Yasuaki Kagami, whose company has a large holding of Plymouth Argyle shares has reacted badly to the team's relegation.
Speaking on a specially constructed stand in the middle of Home Park, he berated the team for not working hard enough to avoid relegation to Division one next season.
He announced that summer leave will be cancelled and, as a team building exercise, they will have to build a bamboo bridge across the River Tamar before the start of the next rainy season.
Head Coach Paul Mariner and ex-manager Paul Sturrock, who have been locked up in a tin shed at the Barn Park end, were both unavailable for comment.
Guards from Kagami's construction company have been posted outside the shed, in case anyone tries to smuggle in food, or even Ivor Dewdney pasties, to the two men.
Your correspondent understands that both men were keeping up their spirits by whistling in the dark, something they've had plenty of practice at this season.
