Steele Justifies Strip Club Visit

Written by Ben Salz

Saturday, 24 April 2010

The following is a recent letter from the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele to major GOP donors:

Polls indicate that a majority of strippers hate social diseases/socialism

I've said it many times, and I'll say it again now - only through your blind faith and radical, right-wing beliefs has our (Tea) party been able to scare and anger so many Americans in such a short period of time. We've motivated wealthy white men from all different backgrounds and created a level of fear and paranoia I haven't experienced since Jonestown.

Unlike Comrade Pelosi, we Republicans believe that the government must stay out of the way of private industry and allow strip bars like Voyeurs continue stimulating the imagination and creativity of ordinary hard-up Americans.

While Obama, Reid, Pelosi and their gang of elitist, liberal, job/baby killers have recently managed to pass Obamacare in a manner reminiscent of Don Corleone, many across this great country of ours grow concerned about the impact this demonic legislation will have on Americans like those luscious ladies laboring in leather and lace. It is for this reason, I directed my staff to visit Voyeurs nightclub in Hollywood, California. I asked them to connect with the strippers even though their visit to the club would be most likely met with some friction and stiff opposition.

While I understand your concerns regarding the purchase of alcoholic beverages by my staff using your donations, I assure you that I did not authorize them to order premium well drinks. I specifically instructed them to "get their drink on" during the "2 for 1" happy hour.

Our (Tea) party's success is in no small part due to your generous donations and of course, a higher limit on my RNC credit card. If you'd like the RNC to continue fighting for your freedom (from having to pay for anything that helps poor people), please donate today (one dollar bills, please).

Please don't fire me,
Michael Steele

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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