Local Man Injured Carrying Wardrobe
A local man, the son of a Dublin shellfish vendor was today seriously injured transporting a wardrobe purchased via internet trading site eBay from the Kangoo to the house. Damian Hogan, 51 - of Portsmouth whined like a little bitch when his wife...
Read full storyThe U.S. Senate Passes A Botox Tax - Burt Reynolds Says He'll Have To File Bankruptcy
SANTA MONICA, California - Former actor Burt Reynolds who gained world wide fame through his Smokey and The Bandit Movies 1 thru 17, was saddened to hear about the new Federal Botox Tax. Reynolds, who says that every day he regrets dumping Sally F...
Read full storyNew EU President promised to do nothing
In an interview with The Vatican Times the new President of the European Union Herman Van Rompuy promised that he would do nothing relevant during his presidency. He said that he had a firm agreement with the Pope to remain as obscure as possible...
Read full storyIrish ask FA and SFA for invasion replay
The Irish today asked the FA and SFA for a replay of their invasion and settlement by English and Scottish incomers that culminated in the total defeat of Ireland in the early 1600s. Ireland had never been a single nation until it was colonised by...
Read full storyBaroness Bonkers is new EU Veep
Brussels - (Sprouts): Baroness Bonkers of Upper Barking is the new Veep to koala bear-faced EU President Herman Van Rumpy-Pumpy. Gorgon Brown's shoo-in slipped in craftily after a classic Labour backstab put the kybosh up Tony Blair's dream. A...
Read full storyBull Dyke Feminist Whingers Slammed By Spoof Writer.
For Spoof writer Skoob1999 a breaking news item concerning complaints over a television ad was the final straw. Choking and spluttering over his beer, Skoob, usually a well balanced individual, promptly kicked the cat and ripped up his daily newsp...
Read full storyThe X-Factor: Jedward Will Lose Says PM!
A last minute prediction by Prime Minister Gordon Brown has reached the ears of the Irish twins, John and Edward. They say they will put everything into it to see that Mr. Brown is wrong. "That just gives us an extra incentive, doesn't it?" stated...
Read full storyTV Regulator rules against Cocks' Chicken vs Balls' Sausages
Global sausage manufacturer 'Balls Sausages' lost their battle with the TV regulator today regarding complaints raised about an advert shown in July. 35 people complained about the advert which depicted a normal family of four sitting down to dinn...
Read full storyNew Reality Show, "Fat Prudes Eating Foods" A Hit!
It seems like a new show "Fat Prudes Eating Foods" has hit a home run as it drew top ratings for it's time slot on it's first two appearances. "We're really hot with this one", stated Producer Banana Downspout. "How can you miss with food and fat...
Read full storyRussia prove to the world they are "humane" they ban the death penalty but re-open Siberian Stalags!
Russia have banned the death penalty, proving to the rest of the world that they are "Humane" after all! Whilst announcing this moral step President Medvedev also announced alternative solutions for Russia's serial killers, rapists, Mafia Mob Boss...
Read full storySomalian Pirates Shock Surprise
Somalian pirates received a jolly good pasting today, and one they were truly not expecting. Eyewitnesses report that a small 8 man speed boat was despatched across the waves off the Somalian coast, to intercept a large commercial vessel carrying...
Read full storyThief'ry Hand'ry: "France 'accidently' qualified for the 2010 World Cup Finals!"
Stade De France: France 1-1 Rep. of Ireland. Thief'ry Hand'ry handles the ball twice before laying the ball off to William Gallas to put into the net, and give France an all important match equaliser and aggregate lead minutes from the end of extra-...
Read full storyCheating, bent, corrupt French slither through, the HAND certainly not of Mon Dieu!
The brave, fighting, bulldog Irish nearly stuffed the French Football team yesterday, only an act of pure corruption allowed the "Froggies" to hop through! The whole world saw it, only the blind, stupid, bought Ref didn't! Who wants the Irish w...
Read full storyKristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson Invited To Dinner At Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion
BEVERLY HILLS - Hugh Hefner, the chief creative officer of Playboy Enterprises threw an $800,000 sit down dinner at his Playboy Mansion in honor of the stars of The Twilight Saga: New Moon Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart. The 20 guests were t...
Read full storyThe first Mrs Blair
Havana - (Cohiba Cohabitee): Pyongyang Fist Wives Club founder Mrs Tony Blair Mk#1 has come out of the woodwork, demanding her lawfully-wedded honors a 1968 prenup. Gladys Crippen-Ratzinger was never actually divorced from her young Tone whom she...
Read full storyRudolph Caught with Mrs. Claus, Santa Pissed
Busy finishing his list and then checking it twice, Santa Claus, figurehead of some Western commercial holiday notoriety, caught one of his employees doing the Christmas shuffle with his wife in the back of his Sleigh. Shocked then infuriated, Cla...
Read full storyPsychoTown - Part 9
Psycho Town Recap: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 CHAPTER 9 8pm O' Halloran walks into the station house looking like shit. "Hey, O' Halloran , you look like shit", says the token black detective. He's right and O' Halloran knows it. That's the last time he wears his dog turd outfit to work: Halloween and birthday parties are the only occasio...
Read full storyBarack Obama Up Against The Wall In China
President Barack has completed his trip to China and is already denying that he traded the Ford Company for a cancellation of most of our debt. "That's simply not true", stated an aide. "I was there and it was for the state of Montana, but they tu...
Read full storyWill Sarah Palin Be Our Next President?
Sarah Palin, either you love her or hate her. Either way, she stays in the public eye and is actually getting more popular everyday, from the cover of magazines to writing her new book, to resigning as Governor of Alaska. She is ridiculed and she...
Read full storyAdam Lambert Would Have Sex With a Woman
"She would have to be someone very special that liked me for what I am and what I believe, what I do", he explained, according to a source that relayed the story to The Truth Tattler. Apparently, the reason Lambert knows this is because he has met...
Read full storyBoomtown Rats To Re-Release 'Banana Republic'
Bob Geldof has announced that the Boomtown Rats are to reissue their classic track 'Banana Republic' in order to cash in on the banana craze currently sweeping satirical website theSpoof.com "What these people are doing with bananas is amazing," G...
Read full storyPresident "Brobama" Meets His Half Bro Mark Ndesandjo and The Two Shoot Hoops In China
BEIJING, China - President Obama visiting China had an opportunity to visit with his half brother Mark Ndesandjo (pronounced: MARK san-JA-ya) The two met at a Beijing McDonald's where they talked about old times and how both like to drink beer, li...
Read full storyAnalysis: 12.9 Million, Not 2.5 Million, Jobs Gained Under Bush
Those who know stats of the US job market are aware of the bitter fact that during the eight years of President George W. Bush, the economy gained only 2.58 million jobs. The main reasons for these bleak numbers are the recessionary, job-losing econo...
Read full storySpoof Club Part Quattro
The Search for Redlich - Feeling like it might still be the day before tomorrow, I wandered in a pleasant haze through Leidseplein Platz looking for the perfect all-beef Chicago hot dog with spicy brown mustard and freshly cut onions. It took another 2 hours of walking in circles, hard to do in a public square, but completely rational behavior for one still blown away by the quality of the...
Read full storySlough crematorium on stand-by for Queen's wedding anniversary shocker!
Windsor - (Barking): Seventeen years after IRA arsonists ravaged Windsor Castle the Queen's 62nd wedding anniversary is looking bleak. A poor showing at Wednesday's State Opening of Parliament triggered an immediate booking at Slough crematorium.
Read full story'Sinister new bridgework' blamed for EU's Blair revulsion
Brussels - (Euro-Septics): Dodgy new veneers and over-zealous use of dental implants have been blamed for Tony Blair's fading EU presidential campaign. The hasbeen's gnasher-flashing plummeted to new depths this week as UK news cameramen complaine...
Read full storyBilly Bob Thornton To Do "The Alan Greenspan Story"
We thought it impossible but Billy Bob Thornton has captured the raw courage, the great excitement of Federal Chairman Alan Greenspan, over those hectic years. Alan Greenspan (born March 6, 1926) was THE American economist who served as Chairman of the Federal Reserve of the United States from 1987 to 2006. This reporter was simply amazed at the sneak preview. The door opens. Congress is...
Read full storyObama Administration Labeled 'a bunch of kumquats' as Banana Boy Walks Free from US Courts!
Following the inept prosecution of international stalker 'Banana Boy', AKA Colonel Juan, leaders of the free world's law enforcement agencies have labeled the Obama Administration a collection of 'kumquats' that couldn't find their arse with both han...
Read full storyCaptain Scarlet Living In Yarmouth
Mr Indestructible himself, Captain Scarlet, has been tracked down to a single person's bedsit in Great Yarmouth, U.K. The former international agent of Spectrum has recently been living as a recluse, following the final destruction of his arch nem...
Read full storyGordon Brown was replaced three months ago
An insider from Number Ten revealed that Gordon Brown was replaced by a lookalike following a deal struck between the Labour Government and the Tories. According to the deal the lookalike Brown would prepare the ground for a landslide Tory victor...
Read full storyIBM synthetic cat brain "going rogue"
PORTLAND OR - According to my source, Mr. Watson, IBM (ittybitty machine corporation) has produced a computer program that is smarter than a cat. When they tested it using an IQ test, the cat failed completely, unable to even hold the pencil. The...
Read full storyBanana Boy Admits He's The Illegitimate Grandson of Carmen Miranda aka The Tutti Fruitti Hat Lady
PLANTATION, Florida - The infamous Banana Boy, who's real name is Paquito De Los Platanatitos, confided to Larry King that he is the long lost illegitimate grandson of the Queen of the Cha Cha Cha, the fruit salad hatted Carmen Miranda. Miss Miran...
Read full storyPorn Star Jenna Jameson To Come Out of Retirement And Make An X-Rated Flick With Levi Johnston
SAN FRANCISCO - The world's most famous porn star Jenna Jameson, who has 143 movies to her credit, has agreed to come out of retirement in order to star in a movie with ex-Governor Sarah Palin's ex-future son-in-law Levi Johnston. The movie is ent...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Thrashes "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" All To Hell
NATCHEZ, Mississippi - Miley Cyrus was in town serving as the Grand Marshal in The 53rd Annual Fried Okra Days Festival Parade. The parade which draws floats and bands from as far off as Bunkie, Louisiana, and Andalusia, Alabama has been featured...
Read full storyJedward Will NEVER Play Support For The Bonkettes
Stunning news just emerging from the PR HQ of top Brit girl band The Bonkettes suggests that Jedward, Dublin twins John and Edward Grimes, of the vertical hairstyles, a bit like boxing promoter Don King, but different, WILL NEVER SUPPORT THE BONKE...
Read full storyTransvestite Obama Impersonator Arrested for Indecent Exposure
Where is Oprah when you need her? She should have been on hand at the Golden Anum Club on the weekend, when a highly popular Bay Area Obama impersonator, Ivanna Talleywhacker, (his stage name)was arrested for indecent exposure early Saturday morning...
Read full storyBanana Boy Breaks Up Fight Between Between Dakota Fanning And Hannah Montana Star While Jonas Bros Look On In Amazement.
Fresh from comforting Katie Price in the Australian jungle over rumours that she was being vote-rigged (or gerrymandered) into performing Bushtucker Trials because she's got huge breasts and the Bilderbungalow Group held a grudge against her, banana...
Read full storyBible Basher Breaks Knuckle Bone In Bible Belt
Local preacher and tub thumping evangelist, Deano Twogood Sonofapreacherman, was this evening recovering in his room at the Flashlight Motel in Snakebite, Kentucky, after getting a little carried away raising donations at 'The Church Of The Sacred Wa...
Read full storyObama Justice Department Led by Eric Holder Loses Case Against Banana Boy: Stalker on Loose Again!
No money, no jobs, and now NO JUSTICE for the radioactive stalker Banana Boy who President Obama just yesterday said was guaranteed to get the death penalty when tried personally in a Court of Law in New York city by Attorney General Eric Holder.
Read full storyDan Marino To Change Name After European Country Mix-up
Former Miami Dolphins QB Dan Marino has told reporters that he is considering changing his name after a series of embarrassing mix-ups which resulted in him becoming confused with the tiny landlocked European country of San Marino. Marino (Dan) to...
Read full storyJordan aka Katie Price's Jungle Challenges - Are They A Conspiracy By The Bildabungalow Group?
Poor old Katie Price. Her return to the jungle in star-studded I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here has resulted in her phone poll nomination to partake in every 'Bushtucker Trial' has been regarded as an innate hostility harboured for her by the Great...
Read full storyChaquita Banana Claims She was STALKED by Rogue Banana Boy on Nude Beach!
The Venezuelan Federales are on the look out tonight for a rogue stalker calling himself "Banana Boy" and exposing himself to unsuspecting tourists on the last free space in Venezuela where residents can legally express themselves.....the Nude Beach...
Read full storyBanana Boy Takes On Turnip Gang
Banana Boy, the newest crime fighting teenage super hero, was victorious in his battle against the dreaded Turnip Gang. Apprehended were Turnip Tom (the leader), Asparagus Bob, Sofie the Onions, and Cauliflower Ears Deano. The quartet are being hel...
Read full storyBanana Boy To Pose For Teen Magazines Due to His Sex A-Peel
Teenaged crime fighter Banana Boy has been signed by Tiger Beat, Teen Beat, and Heart Throb magazines to pose for photo shoots. The newest teen sensation will be the cover boy for each magazine's January issue do to his sex a-peel. Young girls al...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Slams Twilight!
In an interview by an Ohio radio station prior to a concert on Sunday night, Miley Cyrus was asked what she thought about the Twilight Saga. She could have simply said she's never read the books or seen the first movie as the second one, New Moon,...
Read full storyFive Ways to Brighten a Dull Day in the Office
Life in the public service, or any other bureaucracy for that matter, can have its boring moments when nothing appears to be happening. This may happen quite a lot if you are implementing the five paradigms of government properly. In times like these, you will need to have some ways to brighten up your day and give your public service life some meaning. Cultivate a Grudge All good bureaucra...
Read full storyShock. Horror. Adam Green still not very well known in Britain
Katarina Frogpond (that's me) has the sad duty to announce that Adam Green (very big in Germany) is still not very well known in Britain. Katarina came across this fact when she went to her local independent record shop and tried to buy one of h...
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