Havana - (Cohiba Cohabitee): Pyongyang Fist Wives Club founder Mrs Tony Blair Mk#1 has come out of the woodwork, demanding her lawfully-wedded honors a 1968 prenup.
Gladys Crippen-Ratzinger was never actually divorced from her young Tone whom she married in a drunken Russian roulette shoot-out organised by the National Front.
And much to Cherie Booth's dismay the first Mrs B now wants five million quid, a pad in Mayfair, a hereditary peerage and the Elgin Marbles.
In return she has offered to erase all links to the couple's firstborn chimera David Cameron, whelped in a Hellfire Club crypt on Halloween 1969.
The tradeoff includes the placenta and umbilical cord that Mrs B Mk# 1 kept for posterity, earmarked for future stem cell harvesting.
"Gladys always kept these birth mementoes in case scientists one day used them to clone her son's twin," lawyer Shark E Blinkenshyster said today.
Peter Mandelson once shagged Gary Glitter.