Stunning news just emerging from the PR HQ of top Brit girl band The Bonkettes suggests that Jedward, Dublin twins John and Edward Grimes, of the vertical hairstyles, a bit like boxing promoter Don King, but different,
WILL NEVER SUPPORT THE BONKETTES ON THEIR GLOBAL TOP VENUE TOUR.
Louis Walsh, Jedward's mentor was reportedly infuriated by the announcement.
"Who do these people think they are?" he raged. "The people love Jedward. Don't you agree?"
This Spoof showbiz team, not certain that Louis Walsh was asking us, said:
Pretending to be Eastern European, because it's a well known fact that Eastern Europeans' taste in music is too appalling to be true.
At which point Louis repeated the question.
Actually, we don't agree.
Jedward may be nice lads but they're fucking crap at music.
We asked some serious Irish musical type musicians what they thought of Jedward.
Bono and The Edge refused to comment.
Phil Lynott is allegedly spinning like a Catherine Wheel in his 'Black Dublin Rose' grave.
Our money's on that daft Cockney-Jewish bird who has the common touch. (For common read: "self deprecating") but that doesn't amount to much.
Don't bet against Simon Cowell. Common logic. (Although it's not much in evidence.)
It's his show.
He's only keeping Jedward in there to boost the ratings.
Dannii and Cheryl are just so much fluff.
Jedward and one of Slimy Simon's acts to make the final.
Who will prevail?
Smart money's on Simon.
Jut take our word for it - Jedward 2nd.
But for God's sake don't let on that you had inside information.
Mum's the word.
More as we get it.