Fine food outlet Little Chef has announced today they have bought the troubled eatery the Fat Duck in Bray.
The publicly listed restaurant has seen its shares tumble due in large to the lack of fat cats dining at the Fat Duck because of the 'Credit Crunch' (TM the Sun) and the bad publicity from the sheer number of now thin regulars who contracted Ebola from a starter of nitrogen frozen endangered loggerhead sea turtle shells infused with Kinnerton chocolate mini eggs.
Little Chef head chef Syd Little said such an atrocious starter was always going to cause trouble and would be the first thing off the menu. He said "once Dustin Hoffman has given the kitchens the all clear again we are going to start cooking some real hearty grub and get this pub back in the black".
Former owner Heston Blumenthal who has been fired by the Little Chef directors claimed sabotage was the cause of the outbreak that reduced the restaurant's shares to 0.01p each.
However local police chief Roy Hoover - in a telephone conversation he had with the Sun newspaper while he was on the toilet - dismissed the allegation and groaned "As someone who has been personally affected by this, I hope they throw the book at Heston it is clearly all his fault".
