Compare-Compare.web (the comparison of web comparison sites) goes live
A new website was unveiled today to help shed some light on the glut of comparison websites that allegedly help people to compare the prices of insurance and financial products. Compare-compare.web has been launched to help the public compare betw...
Read full storyPoor Banned from Using Money
Today the upper classes of America succeeded in getting a bill passed banning poor people from using money. Having invested heavily in Senators and Legislators for decades they now saw it was time to remove the economy entirely from the lower masses...
Read full storyNew reality show for Taliban TV
A new reality show from the BBC strictly team is set to air on Taliban TV. 'Strictly No Dancing' premiers on Taliban TV for 11 weeks featuring 12 sets of couples who will not dance together on an elimination basis. Each week, the couple who don't...
Read full storyTuesday's Scorpio new moon will bring down the Hellfire Club
London - (Ass Mess): The most lethal Scorpio lunation since Soviet despot Nikita Khrushchev's 1962 tail-between-the-legs U-turn withdrawal of the USSR's Cuban missile bases takes place this week, wreaking havoc for the Hellfire Club pact that subsequ...
Read full storyThe Socialist Republic of Wall Street
Wall Street, in a surprising move today, declared itself a separate governing republic and detached itself from the US. Always considered a bulwark of staunch capitalism, recent economic downturns and the stimulants have changed the economic think…
Read full storyMan Staggers Seven Miles Cross Country With Severed Arm
When an unfortunate accident involving an agricultural threshing machine resulted in the severance of an arm yesterday in rural Somerset, village idiot Drew Halfbrain was in no doubt as to what he had to do. Halfbrain, despite being the village i...
Read full storyWhite Lines Appalled By Negative Connotations
A series of white road markings in Mudchute, London have spoken out against the negative image that cocaine has given them. The issue arose after police were called to a supposedly drug-addled mania which turned out to be a series of freshly painted...
Read full storyFake UFO Holograms Finally Scare World Into Submission
Not so long ago, we were all happy as Harry in our various independent nations, watching East Enders and American Football games at Wembley Stadium. But, just as astonishing as the dead horse old man Republican that has been run against the globalist...
Read full storyChelsea Sack Scolari After Unbeaten Home Record Ends
Chelsea have reacted with a swiftness rarely seen in recent football history, by sacking their Brazilian coach Luis Felipe Scolari, after their 86-game unbeaten home run went out of the window when they were beaten 1-0 at Stamford Bridge by Liverpool...
Read full storyOctober Surprise: Bush Declares Obama Enemy Combatant
WASHINGTON D.C. President Bush used his Saturday morning radio address to announce his declaration of U.S. Senator and Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama as an Enemy Combatant. The President began, "My fellow Americans, yesterday morni...
Read full storyClothing Manufacturers Seeking Commercial Spokesman Compete For Man With World's Largest Penis
Levi Strauss and Wrangler dominate the denim blue jeans market. They are now competing to hire a new commercial spokesman; Bargis Tryhol, famous as "the man with the world's largest penis," is the object of the marketing war. When asked how he fe...
Read full storyScientists Create Worker Ideal Clone
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, CO - Military Industrial Complex scientists leaked today that they have created the ideal worker and have cloned a score of them. These new creatures are known as WICs (Worker Ideal Clone). WICs promise to work for two penni...
Read full storyCumbria Marathon Latest: Hundreds Of Missing Runners Turn Up
Police and UFO experts have reopened the area around Keswick in Cumbria this morning, where the weather caused the Original Mountain Marathon race to be abandoned yesterday, leaving more than 700 of the competitors missing. Miraculously, a scene...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden Disguised as Where's Wally?
The worlds most wanted man, Al Qaeda mastermind Osama Bin Laden, has been receiving hiding tips from children's comic book favorite Where's Wally. It's reported that Bin Laden has ditched his long robes and beard in favor of a striped red and whit...
Read full storyIntelligence concludes Russel Brand Twat
In a recent decision that has shocked the nation, Russell Brand was proved to be conceptually, figuratively and literally an enormous person (twat). The revelation came as a unique revelation to a large person who was formerly and concurrently a...
Read full storyRecesssion Forces The Treasury To Prop Up Small Businesses
As recession looms, small businesses and their owners are relying on the Treasury for support. Having sold the foundations of their businesses, the Treasury has been forced to prop up an industry which is quite literally crumbling. Small business own...
Read full storyPresidential mixup humiliates Republican party.
A lengthy document has been released from the Republican party's PR office today correcting the constant typing error when writing their presidential candidate's name. The real Republican candidate, John McLain, has been outraged by the constant m...
Read full storyPalin Wants to Know: Who Really Took Biden's IQ Test?
Orlando,Fl./ Orlando Sentinel - Governor Sarah Palin, who has survived merciless IUD's to her professional reputation by the liberal media is questioning Sen. Biden's "guts" after he freaks at TV interview! The often misspoken Democrat candidate...
Read full storyRedmond Leicester Furious With New Nickname
Fine cheese cultivator, Redmond Leicester, is reportedly furious with his new nickname, 'Red Leicester'. The childish joke had arisen after an offensively situated hole in his trousers had caused embarrassment. Observing that his cheeks had redde...
Read full storyPasta for a Man Alone
Yep. A slam of the door. That was your wife…the joy of your life…who gave you no strife. Once upon a time. Now, she's left you. Well, look at the bright side for a second. She took those two pain-in-the-ass kids and that three-legged dachshund. The bitch! The dog, I mean, not your wife. Now, you have complete control of ESPN and Turner Classic Movies. But remember, you may be alone, but t...
Read full storyIndian Catholic Bishop's Adoption of Young Woman is 'Just Tip of Sandal'
Kerala, India - Catholic Bishop John Lobha of Kochi, India may be in deep elephant dung for his recent adoption of a 26 year old woman. Bishop Lobha allegedly met the young woman on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. She is the daughter of an Orthodox pr...
Read full storyHarry Redknapp Kidnapped By Tottenham Thugs
Police on the south coast are frantically trying to locate the whereabouts of Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp this morning, after henchmen thought to be working for Tottenham Hotspur chairman Daniel Levy took him from his home in the small hours.
Read full storyObama runs into a McCain supporter at the local ATM
Washington, D.C. - A funny thing happen to Braack Obama while on his way to Hawaii to visit his sick grandmother, needing some pocket change for the trip, he made a quick stop at a local ATM where he unexpectedly ran into a McCain supporter. "Whe...
Read full storyIMF head is cheating deceiver… but not in a bad way.
The worlds leading money wrangler, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), has been cleared of allegations that he was in the wrong when he had an affair with a married IMF economist. After making the 'coin with two...
Read full storyMcCain's Campaign Bus - The Unused Slogans
CHICKENBONE LAKE, Michigan - Senator John McCain's campaign bus has the slogan the 'Straight Talk Express' painted on the sides. One of his campaign assistants, Champy Carfino said that the name was actually suggested by a nine-year-old boy who l...
Read full storyObama 'fesses up: he is really Bin laden
In breaking news, Presidential candidate Barack Obama has revealed that his identity is false and that he is really Osama Bin laden, the miscreant terrorist leader responsible for the devastating violence wrought on American soil on September 11 2001...
Read full storyObamaween Strikes Terror into Hearts of Many
As the Eve of Obamaween approaches, many stare at the stars in fear, few know what to do,... even fewer know why they are even looking up instead of looting their neighbor's shelled out clutter-factory of a short-sale home. But onward the nation t...
Read full storyReport: Republicans Trying to Distance Themselves From Themselves
Washington, D.C. Republicans trying to run for re-election on the basis of having trashed the entire US and global economy, are now saying they were never strong supporters of George Bush....A party of "Mavericks" who never agreed with the president...
Read full storyBrunei's Prince Jefri Archer in bed with Oleg Deripaska
Montenegro - (Tory Sperm Donor Mess): Brunei's top mobster and fugitive from UK justice Prince Jefri Archer is the eminence grise behind dodgy Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska according to reports. Prince Jefri, 69, famously embezzled $25 billion f...
Read full storyDaylight Savings Time - Big Changes Announced This Year
Baltimore, Maryland (IPP) - The U.S. Naval observatory has announced big changes to this year's Daylight Savings Time Change on November 2, 2008. The hour from 11:00 PM until 12:00 AM is being totally eliminated. Dr. Povenmire Finootch held a pres...
Read full storyBush Sent to Baghdad to Teach Iraqis 'How to Squander a Super Surplus Without Really Trying'!
GWB came into office with the largest budget surplus in US history. WJC had left behind a mountain of money and a closet full of skeletons. Before Americans knew it bush had squandered the casgh and replaced sex scandals with genocide and torture...
Read full story