In a recent decision that has shocked the nation, Russell Brand was proved to be conceptually, figuratively and literally an enormous person (twat).
The revelation came as a unique revelation to a large person who was formerly and concurrently a member of the well known information syndicate 'intelligence'.
Brand himself was unable to be reached by the wider press for comment although my mate Bill managed to get a sneak exclusive interview with him. This came to little avail, however, as his incessantly irritating high pitched nasal drawling quickly drove Bill into a foetal state causing on-site paramedics to immediately rush in and perform a double reverse birth as due to the man's sheer volume he was unable to fit into a single human female.
Gestation continues.
