The worlds leading money wrangler, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), has been cleared of allegations that he was in the wrong when he had an affair with a married IMF economist.
After making the 'coin with two heads' with Hungarian Piroska Nagy, it was alleged that DSK may have used his position to also screw the IMF. However the board has found that only the Married Ms Nagy and My Strauss-Kahn's wife Anne Sinclair were being screwed by the affair, pointing out that whilst neither Ms Nagy nor Ms Sinclair had been satisfied, the IMF was.
Ms Nagy has subsequently left the IMF after fulfilling her career objective of sleeping her way to the bottom.
The IMF board stated that Mr Strauss-Kahn "Had done nothing wrong", instigating a hail of condemnation from people with morals who believe adultery could be considered as "Something wrong." There are no people with morals, however, on the board of the IMF but, in order to repair any loss of confidence the affair has caused, Mr Strauss-Kahn will be required to wear a condom whenever he handles IMF cash.
The board has added that it is confident that if Mr Strauss-Khan screws anyone else at work, it will be done in line with the stringent moral and ethical codes that underpin the IMF, pointing out that "It is this code which allows us to ensure the world's economy maintains its current lofty position of trusted credibility".